Tag Archive for: clients

Face it. Feel it. Let it the F* go.

Excuse me. *taps glass*

I think it’s time for a chat about spiritual bypassing.

This is coming up more and more in our industry and, frankly, it’s f*cking horrible.

For those not acquainted, spiritual bypassing prevents people from acknowledging what they feel and distances them from both themselves and others.

An example might be avoiding feeling angry, or overemphasizing the positive AND avoiding the negative.

I also see it where people are super detached, overly idealistic, feel entitled or simply aren’t focusing on the here and now.

It’s similar to emotional bypassing in that we don’t allow ourselves to fully process our negative feelings. Which breeds a toxic cesspool inside of us and creates more problems as we try to expand and grow.

You can NEVER get better by ignoring what’s bothering you.

Granted, we may not be aware that we’ve closed our hearts or we’re avoiding a particularly heavy feeling. In an effort to protect ourselves from trauma, we shut down, avoid, withdraw, dissociate — and sometimes convince ourselves that we have to just “STAY POSITIVE.”

I have no judgment about any of it.

HOWEVER, if you’re working with a coach who encourages this, it’s a big, fat, hairy problem.

I don’t care who you are, you’re human.

As long as you’re inside this bag of flesh and bones, you will have feelings. All kinds of them. And you may not like them very much.

But the process of true growth means FEELING THEM TO RELEASE THEM. There is no way to skip this step. None. And anyone who says otherwise is straight out lying to you.

Growth never means pretending emotions don’t exist. We’re never just “fine.” We have real shit to face and it’s your job to do just that.

In fact, stuffing emotion long-term has been proven time and again to cause physical illness, like cancers and autoimmune diseases, as well as mental illness.

We are NOT built to avoid what is uncomfortable. We are built to deal with it head on so we can then go further, faster, with a lighter load.

Face it. Feel it. Let it the f*ck go.

But it begins by acknowledging you are not a robot and you have things to release.

Please take the time to honor your body and mind and do this work.

Some refer to this as shadow work. I don’t care what you call it. Just deal with your feelings so you can excel in the areas you want.

If you feel held back, there’s a 99.9% chance it’s because of what I talked about here.

I made my first 6 figures in 2008, after 3 months of intense personal work on trauma.

I made my first 7 figures in 2012, after 6 months of transformational coaching that involved facing my deepest fears, loving my limits and choosing compassion for ALL OF ME.

I had my first multiple 7-figure year in 2015, after the deepest, scariest healing journey of my life. I called it the year of my soul retrieval.

Never once did I pretend life was fine.

Never once did I pretend I had it all together.

Never once did I avoid difficult emotions.

What you suppress festers.

One of the main reasons I now have a reputation for top-notch mindset and business coaching is because of my own journey.

I know what it’s like to be scared but have a dream.

I know what it’s like to desperately want to overcome fear and rise to the occasion.

And I know what it’s like to not have a clue where to begin.

If that’s you, it starts by emailing me at becky(at)rebeccatdickson(dot)com.

Your light comes from your shadow.

We need the darkness to see the contrast.

P.S. Tick-Tock. Right now, there’s a kickass bundle sale going on with my top 3 bestselling courses on mindset and business-building for women. Go here to check it out.

But don’t wait. The deal is gone in days…on 8/3/22 Midnight ET.

Want to WORK WITH ME? Get in touch. Let’s see what type of magic we can make.

Influence is an art

Today, we’re talking about influence, and how you can’t do it if you don’t know yourself.

Tool #2: It’s not about them (aka: Own your shit)

Most of the emotional pain I’ve been through in my life comes from other people. Or rather, my REACTION to other people.

I used to tell myself things like:

“Why can’t he just get it?”
“She doesn’t understand me.”
“Wow, that guy was an ass.”

Here’s the thing, though…

Wishing other people were different is a sign of emotional immaturity on OUR part.

Instead of hoping they understand you, or constantly being triggered by someone else’s behavior, work on your own emotional resilience.

Look inward and ask yourself why you are allowing your emotions to be controlled by other people.

True mastery is high emotional intelligence – a harbinger of the modern leader, by the way.

How to know if you are using this tool:

  • How often do you get frustrated or angry with a client, or friend, or someone you see online?
  • Why do you get frustrated or angry?
  • How often do you complain about how someone else is behaving?
  • How confident do you feel in your ability to lead and influence, despite how people may or may not behave?

How to implement this tool:

  • If you are constantly triggered by what’s going on around you, you’re weak-minded. It’s time to do some internal work on how you became so vulnerable to what other people think, say or do.
  • Complaining about how others behave is a sign we are losing our focus and abdicating responsibility. We are believing, in those moments, that somehow those people are responsible for our feelings. Which is bullshit. No one can make you feel anything. Only you can do that.
  • Leading and influencing require high emotional intelligence. So, if you’re someone who loses her shit when things don’t turn out, or when someone replies with snark, that means you are leaving your rational mind and becoming emotional. The moment you become emotional, you lose your seat of power. Logic is gone and we begin reacting (not choosing thoughtful, intelligent responses). And no one can lead from a reactionary place.

True leadership and Influence is complicated and fluid.

You’ve got to know yourself if you want to attract raving fans and guide them to better lives.

You have to take responsibility for your own emotions and own your shit before anyone will buy into your message and you as a leader. Which is why influence is an art.

If you haven’t yet, be sure to join my private Facebook community, Tune In. Turn On., where I am LIVE twice a week going in-depth on these tools.

– Becky

P.S. Implementing these tools requires persistence and consistency. Building a bulletproof mindset, and staking your claim in your industry, requires time and effort. If you know what you’re doing isn’t working, apply for a seat in my new 90-program, Game-Changer. 

Seats are limited and the time is now.