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An invitation to succeed

And why do you need an invitation to do something that’s your birthright?

Because many of you seem to have forgotten you can have it all.

You’re spending far too much time worried about others in your industry and not nearly enough improving yourselves and your business.

A bold statement, yes?

Here’s how I know:

On any given day, I receive emails and phone calls with words strung together that go something like this:

[insert name] said not to work with you. She said people are talking about how your clients don’t get results.

[insert name] asked why I would want to work with you instead of her. She said it was a big mistake.

[insert name] keeps asking me about our game plan for my business. She said she has better ideas than you.

Let’s put aside for a moment that most of these “[insert name]”s are women from my own community – women whose very careers I helped launch.

Let’s also put aside that the remainder of the “[insert name]”s are women I’ve never spoken to and, often, never even heard of.

I’ll get right to the point.

I launched this business and my collective Facebook communities (now in excess of 12,000) to create an army of women who have each others’ backs.

The goal was, is and always will be to have positive and supportive spaces for women all the time – and I’m hyper-vigilant about keeping them that way.

I don’t believe in competition. I never have. Five billion people are on the internet. If you can’t find a client who resonates with your message – without trashing another coach – then the problem is you.

The fact remains women entrepreneurs who struggle to get traction in their online businesses come to me to fix that. They come to my Facebook groups to be surrounded by like-minded women who will help them. They want to know they aren’t alone and that it’s safe to talk about their struggles.

So if you’re in my groups or on my email list and you don’t have anything nice to say…

…kindly get the fuck out. Now.

Don’t flood my inbox with bullshit.

I don’t care about gossip, hearsay or any negativity really.

And neither should you.

This represents a much more troubling and over-arching theme among women – one I will continue to tackle head-on as long as I live.

I mean, it’s a sad state when women who came together to support one another start tearing each other down. I could wax philosophical all day about patriarchy and how society sets us up to fail by making sure women do this very thing. But I’m guessing you’ve heard it all before and just forgot.

I could lecture on the concept of “divide and conquer,” but again I’m sure you’ve heard about that as well.

And given that you already know society expects women to eviscerate one another, why not take a step back and ask why you continue to participate.

What’s so scary about a woman’s success that makes you come out with claws extended?

Do you not understand that every woman’s success before yours blazes a fucking trail to make it easier for all women?

Don’t you get that by trashing your colleagues, you make yourself look petty and small?

Why are you helping society perpetuate the myth that women cannot lead because they’re too busy comparing, fighting and trying to out-do one another?

Allow that to sink in. Really. Absorb it.

Every second you spend on that is time taken away from bettering yourself.

When you process that and see it as true, your business will grow, your mindset will improve, you will have more clients and make more money.

And you’re better than trash talk, aren’t you?

This is an extraordinary time to be a women entrepreneur. Look up the statistics. See whose ahead of the game in online business. (It’s not men.)

Give yourself permission to be yourself. Dissolve the fear that makes you attack other women. Delete the programming that leads you to believe someone else’s success means your failure.

You are me and I am you.

When you understand that, you will succeed.

Stop Lying To Yourself and Leap

Entrepreneurs have a lot of shit on their plates. And maybe that’s an understatement. As a former writing coach, I know “a lot” is vague.

Anyone in business for themselves is already shaking their head in agreement. It’s those of you who are on the sidelines I’m talking to. You, the lady stuck in a corporate job trying to build her business while still earning a steady salary. You, the woman who leapt into business ownership but works a bridge job to make sure her bills are paid (and does very little to build the business she wanted). And you, the woman who feels her throat tighten as you wait for me to call you out in your exact spot, wherever you are that makes you unhappy.

This post is for the non-believers and the ladies addicted to fear.

It’s time to stop lying to yourself and take the leap, dammit.

If you’ve ever said:

“My husband won’t let me quit my job without showing I can truly earn money as a coach first.”

“I know I need additional support, like a ghostwriter or CPA, and I can’t afford them right now.”

“I’m afraid I’ll fail.”

“The market is full of other really great coaches who do exactly what I want, so why bother?”

It’s time to face the fear and leap anyway. Because while all of those excuses might seem completely factual in your mind, they are only blocks, only things to keep you from facing the fact you don’t feel ready to do it solo.

So what’s it going to take for you to feel ready?

  • A steady income from clients?
  • The approval of your spouse, partner or family?
  • 100% certainty that you won’t fall on your face?

The bad news? You’re never going to have exactly what you want before you begin.

The good news? You’re never going to have exactly what you want before you begin, so you can start at any-fucking-time.

See, the truth is, nobody who goes into business for themselves has all of their shit together when they start. A perfect plan isn’t what makes successful entrepreneurs money. Instead, it’s their ability to take the leap, watch what happens when they do, and respond to whatever happens. A good startup includes being proactive in your approach, noticing what earns you money and what doesn’t and then modifying your plan.

The plan does not determine your success. Your flexibility does.

One of my very favorite videos to show people enrolling in services with me (whether it’s 1:1 coaching or CCC) is by ZeFrank. It’s not because he says anything other than what I’m telling you now, but it’s because he does it in such a simple, beautiful way that people can get on board.

Jump the shark, ladies.

Use metaphors.

Give yourself the grace and forgiveness you show to others, especially when they fail.

At 1:55 in the video, ZeFrank talks about perfectionism (don’t worry, I’ll link it at the end). About how we hate the quality in others, yet we expect it in ourselves. If there is one thing you should know about entrepreneurship, it’s that nobody has everything figured out. NOBODY.

Not me, not any other big names in any industry. We’re all just doing our best to stay two steps ahead of our clients, so we can better serve them (and they’ll continue needing us). When you think about it that way, it’s not as scary, is it?

All you need to do to take the leap, is make sure you’re two steps ahead of the people you want to serve. If you can stay there, you’ll never have to worry about finding people to help or providing value to your clients. Ever.

This fear we let choke the courage out of us? It’s normal, but it becomes detrimental when we let it stop us.

So, if you’re sitting at home reading this, shaking your head in agreement (like my fellow entrepreneurs were up top), then it’s high time you stop allowing your fears to dictate your life.

Instead, let your dreams take a shot at it.

If you need help, you know where to find me. I’m always here or on Facebook in Entrepreneur Incubator.

Enjoy new beginnings. They’re always a little scary, but they’re so damn worth it.