Why writing is like Duck Dynasty

Sort of…

I want my novel in the top 100 Amazon.

I want to be a famous author.

I want everyone to love me and my book.

Things we hear and see every day from writers all over the world.

What we don’t see is the follow-up. We don’t hear about the work they are putting in to make their book the best it can be.

What do they plan to do to make their stuff stand out?


Last night, I had the rare luxury of watching part of a Duck Dynasty marathon. I don’t like TV. I don’t have time for TV. But I made an exception after the hell that was last week. I was about halfway through the episode where Jas and Willie take their wives hunting when my husband came in and started talking over it. Not just a few words. Not a quick reminder about something. An actual conversation he insisted on continuing even when I asked him to wait for a commercial.

“What? Like you don’t know how it will end? Their taking their wives hunting. There are no surprises here,” he said.

Which is true.

“But it’s not about the end,” I said. “It’s about the telling of the story.”

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For f*ck’s sake. A rant and an excerpt.

When I woke up, I had no intention of sharing an excerpt of my new book, THE Guide, today. But I ran across three posts from three different people about one issue. It seems the universe is holding up a neon sign just for me.

We’re talking about profanity in writing. More specifically, swearing on your blog. As a long-time, flag-waving cursing machine, you can guess my opinion. What you don’t know is the road I traveled, how long it took me to get there and why I think it’s perfectly okay to say f*ck when you feel the need to say it.

The posts that prompted this are from Don’t Call Me Marge, Something Clever 2.0, and The Insomniac’s Dream. Check those out for the background.

Without further ado, here’s the excerpt of chapter three in THE Guide, called “Two of the most important lessons I ever learned about writing.”

. . .

Lesson No. 1 – Old school writing techniques can f*ck up your voice, until you figure out …

Lesson No. 2 – If you think you shouldn’t say it, you better say it.

I grew up in a great neighborhood, in a microscopic town, in a small state. I had a big backyard, plenty of kids my age and a one-mile loop to bike. (I was an epic bicyclist. Great legs, too.) People kill for less.

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