An invitation to succeed

And why do you need an invitation to do something that’s your birthright?

Because many of you seem to have forgotten you can have it all.

You’re spending far too much time worried about others in your industry and not nearly enough improving yourselves and your business.

A bold statement, yes?

Here’s how I know:

On any given day, I receive emails and phone calls with words strung together that go something like this:

[insert name] said not to work with you. She said people are talking about how your clients don’t get results.

[insert name] asked why I would want to work with you instead of her. She said it was a big mistake.

[insert name] keeps asking me about our game plan for my business. She said she has better ideas than you.

Let’s put aside for a moment that most of these “[insert name]”s are women from my own community – women whose very careers I helped launch.

Let’s also put aside that the remainder of the “[insert name]”s are women I’ve never spoken to and, often, never even heard of.

I’ll get right to the point.

I launched this business and my collective Facebook communities (now in excess of 12,000) to create an army of women who have each others’ backs.

The goal was, is and always will be to have positive and supportive spaces for women all the time – and I’m hyper-vigilant about keeping them that way.

I don’t believe in competition. I never have. Five billion people are on the internet. If you can’t find a client who resonates with your message – without trashing another coach – then the problem is you.

The fact remains women entrepreneurs who struggle to get traction in their online businesses come to me to fix that. They come to my Facebook groups to be surrounded by like-minded women who will help them. They want to know they aren’t alone and that it’s safe to talk about their struggles.

So if you’re in my groups or on my email list and you don’t have anything nice to say…

…kindly get the fuck out. Now.

Don’t flood my inbox with bullshit.

I don’t care about gossip, hearsay or any negativity really.

And neither should you.

This represents a much more troubling and over-arching theme among women – one I will continue to tackle head-on as long as I live.

I mean, it’s a sad state when women who came together to support one another start tearing each other down. I could wax philosophical all day about patriarchy and how society sets us up to fail by making sure women do this very thing. But I’m guessing you’ve heard it all before and just forgot.

I could lecture on the concept of “divide and conquer,” but again I’m sure you’ve heard about that as well.

And given that you already know society expects women to eviscerate one another, why not take a step back and ask why you continue to participate.

What’s so scary about a woman’s success that makes you come out with claws extended?

Do you not understand that every woman’s success before yours blazes a fucking trail to make it easier for all women?

Don’t you get that by trashing your colleagues, you make yourself look petty and small?

Why are you helping society perpetuate the myth that women cannot lead because they’re too busy comparing, fighting and trying to out-do one another?

Allow that to sink in. Really. Absorb it.

Every second you spend on that is time taken away from bettering yourself.

When you process that and see it as true, your business will grow, your mindset will improve, you will have more clients and make more money.

And you’re better than trash talk, aren’t you?

This is an extraordinary time to be a women entrepreneur. Look up the statistics. See whose ahead of the game in online business. (It’s not men.)

Give yourself permission to be yourself. Dissolve the fear that makes you attack other women. Delete the programming that leads you to believe someone else’s success means your failure.

You are me and I am you.

When you understand that, you will succeed.

What Self Confidence Has To Do With Sales

Know anyone who loves rejection?

Me either.

It doesn’t really matter what type of “no” you hear, it still sucks. Yet – believe it or not – there are people who don’t let it deter them from their goals, because they know everyone isn’t ready to say “yes” at any given moment.

These mystical creatures are the ones who continue to hustle, who don’t let rejection define them. And they’re probably earning (or will earn) a shit ton of money.

I am one of those unicorns.

Though sales rejections can be emotionally exhausting and stressful, especially when they outweigh purchases, maintaining your mindset is critical to creating long-term success.

Ready to fart rainbows (and success)? It’s simple: strengthen your self-image.

The general population doesn’t realize how powerful self-talk can be. If you feel worthless, others might see you as such. But if you present yourself as an authority, as a powerful, passionate force, others will believe it.

You’re an expert in your field. Remember it, then remember your goal in selling is to help others. You’re a solution seeker, an intelligent, bad-ass expert who has information to share with those who are ready. If you quit beating yourself up (hello, this isn’t a high school audition), you’ll realize those who see your value are the ones you want to work with.

Everyone who says no is getting you a step closer to your ideal client. That’s where you’ll shine, gorgeous.

Here’s three feel-good self-esteem boosters to help you up self-confidence and sales:

1. Prepare to meet your potential-client

If you’re feeling ill-prepared for a clarity call, chances are you aren’t going to nail it. No matter how many times you’ve gone into a meeting, it’s always best to be prepared. Simply writing yourself notes about your goals or guidelines, pulling up your website so you easily direct someone there or dressing the part (even though they can’t see you) will help you take the call more seriously.

By doing this, you’re not only appearing more confident, but you’re not giving anxiety and fear room enough room to seep in and take over. Yes, you might still have butterflies and goosebumps, but they won’t debilitate you.

2. Visualize your victories

Even the best athletes in the world do this. Visualize yourself on the call: confident, smart and articulate. Focus on how it feels to go in knowing you’re an expert and leader in your field. Then visualize it more. Think about the best response you could receive from your client. Celebrate that it’s happening for you.

When you mentally prepare in this way, your performance becomes as easy as playing it out mentally. The more you visualize, the more power you’re giving your real show.

3. Keep track of your testimonials

Yes, even those of us with ovaries-of-steel have bad days.

Zig Ziglar once said, “People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well, neither does bathing – that’s why we recommend it daily.”

Guess what, darling? You’re going to need to practice this every single day.

If I ever have a day I feel insecure, I open my magic Word document full of testimonials and read through them. This little gem reminds me of my value, how others see me and how I’ve helped them. There’s no juju-lifting practice I’ve found that’s more effective, and it immediately raises my vibration to a level that kills whatever rejection I’m feeling.

Great results happen to those of us who don’t stop pushing. I’ve seen it time and time again with myself and my 1:1 clients. If you’re truly ready to make it big in business, you have to start by making sure your self-esteem is in check.

Because, if you don’t realize you deserve the money, why would anyone else?