Screwing up makes you better

You can think about something for days on end. That new idea can be mulled over, viewed from different angles and perspectives ad infinitum.

None of that will help you do it better.

Whether it’s showing up online, creating a new offering, coaching for the first time or tying your damn shoes, we must do the thing – experience it – in order to improve.

Many women entrepreneurs think and think and think. Mistakenly believing it will help them execute. It’s safe (free of judgement of others) in your head. You can practice endlessly, spin your thoughts, and no one is the wiser.

The problem? Science has actually proven that it’s not until you have the guts to try something and practice over and over that you actually improve.

Doing the thing, making a mess, screwing up royally? That’s where the power is.

Ergo, your willingness to fuck up makes you better.

Your willingness to be brave? Catapults you.

When I started writing, I was in high school, about 15 years old. And I sucked. Sure, I had moments of genius, fragments to hang achievements on. But they were nothing, comparatively speaking, to what I produced as a reporter and copy writer.

When I began my career as a journalist and editor? I was okay. Better than in high school, but not the writer I am now. And every day that I continue to write, experiment, play with words, make a mess, also makes me better.

My willingness to fail has been my road to success.

When you care more about improving yourself than what other people might think, you will succeed. It’s inevitable.

When you do it, instead of thinking about it, you exponentially speed up your learning curve and put yourself on the path to achievement.

In The Talent Code, author Daniel Coyle talks to the chair of psychology at UCLA about this very thing. Robert Bjork says one real attempt at doing something – allowing yourself to try and fail – is more useful than several hundred observations.

“We think of effortless performance as desirable, but it’s really a terrible way to learn,” he said. “Things that appear to be obstacles turn out to be desirable in the long haul.”

Perfection is for losers.

I talk a lot about fear and how it keeps us small.

After all, if you don’t try, you won’t fail and no one will judge you for your mistakes.

It also means you stay where you are. And if that’s not where you want to be, the answer is doing something else.

I believe if we don’t have what we want, we’re holding it away from ourselves. More often than not, it’s because our subconscious is protecting us. Sounds crazy, right? Our brain battling us when it comes to our goals and dreams?

But think about it.

You want money and don’t have it. You run an online business but don’t show up to let people know you have offerings to sell. The two are clearly connected. (Ninety-nine percent of the women I work with do this.)

Ask yourself what you’re afraid of. Why is showing up online so scary? People might judge you, not agree or like what you have to say, ridicule you, complain that you post too much, and on and on.

So what?

Maybe they will and maybe they won’t.

The point is thinking about showing up online won’t make you better at posting or more comfortable with it. But doing it will.

Be willing to stop, stumble and figure it out. A microsecond of struggle makes a lifetime of difference.

In The Talent Code, Coyle calls it practicing deeper.

I call it fucking up to make money.

Your mistakes make you smarter.

So what are you thinking about (instead of doing) right now?

What can you screw up today to further your goals?

My challenge to you is to go make a mess in the name of progress.

Forget everyone and everything else. Create single-minded focus on your goal and then DO SOMETHING to get it.

• • •

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1 reply
  1. Nathalie
    Nathalie says:

    I love the idea of making a mess.

    I tried a new 1/2 day workshop back in January. Sold one. It wasn’t quite a mess, but it wasn’t anywhere near where I wanted the quality to be. That’s cool. I learned that I didn’t want to do what I put out. End of discussion.

    I’m not the healer when I started.

    My ability to manifest money in my business is much higher than it was five years ago. 😉

    Reply

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