An invitation to succeed

And why do you need an invitation to do something that’s your birthright?

Because many of you seem to have forgotten you can have it all.

You’re spending far too much time worried about others in your industry and not nearly enough improving yourselves and your business.

A bold statement, yes?

Here’s how I know:

On any given day, I receive emails and phone calls with words strung together that go something like this:

[insert name] said not to work with you. She said people are talking about how your clients don’t get results.

[insert name] asked why I would want to work with you instead of her. She said it was a big mistake.

[insert name] keeps asking me about our game plan for my business. She said she has better ideas than you.

Let’s put aside for a moment that most of these “[insert name]”s are women from my own community – women whose very careers I helped launch.

Let’s also put aside that the remainder of the “[insert name]”s are women I’ve never spoken to and, often, never even heard of.

I’ll get right to the point.

I launched this business and my collective Facebook communities (now in excess of 12,000) to create an army of women who have each others’ backs.

The goal was, is and always will be to have positive and supportive spaces for women all the time – and I’m hyper-vigilant about keeping them that way.

I don’t believe in competition. I never have. Five billion people are on the internet. If you can’t find a client who resonates with your message – without trashing another coach – then the problem is you.

The fact remains women entrepreneurs who struggle to get traction in their online businesses come to me to fix that. They come to my Facebook groups to be surrounded by like-minded women who will help them. They want to know they aren’t alone and that it’s safe to talk about their struggles.

So if you’re in my groups or on my email list and you don’t have anything nice to say…

…kindly get the fuck out. Now.

Don’t flood my inbox with bullshit.

I don’t care about gossip, hearsay or any negativity really.

And neither should you.

This represents a much more troubling and over-arching theme among women – one I will continue to tackle head-on as long as I live.

I mean, it’s a sad state when women who came together to support one another start tearing each other down. I could wax philosophical all day about patriarchy and how society sets us up to fail by making sure women do this very thing. But I’m guessing you’ve heard it all before and just forgot.

I could lecture on the concept of “divide and conquer,” but again I’m sure you’ve heard about that as well.

And given that you already know society expects women to eviscerate one another, why not take a step back and ask why you continue to participate.

What’s so scary about a woman’s success that makes you come out with claws extended?

Do you not understand that every woman’s success before yours blazes a fucking trail to make it easier for all women?

Don’t you get that by trashing your colleagues, you make yourself look petty and small?

Why are you helping society perpetuate the myth that women cannot lead because they’re too busy comparing, fighting and trying to out-do one another?

Allow that to sink in. Really. Absorb it.

Every second you spend on that is time taken away from bettering yourself.

When you process that and see it as true, your business will grow, your mindset will improve, you will have more clients and make more money.

And you’re better than trash talk, aren’t you?

This is an extraordinary time to be a women entrepreneur. Look up the statistics. See whose ahead of the game in online business. (It’s not men.)

Give yourself permission to be yourself. Dissolve the fear that makes you attack other women. Delete the programming that leads you to believe someone else’s success means your failure.

You are me and I am you.

When you understand that, you will succeed.

How to Invest In Yourself (And Grow Your Business)

If you invest in yourself while becoming an entrepreneur, your business will grow. I know, the concept seems wild when you’re struggling (or afraid you’re going to struggle) to bring in money. Of course, it seems counterintuitive to spend money while you’re trying to earn.

When you look at it that way, it doesn’t seem logical to buy into new programs or upgrade your wardrobe.

What exactly, though, is the difference between these investments and, say, earning a college degree? Aren’t you paying for the investment in yourself so eventually you can earn more money than if you hadn’t?

So why do entrepreneurs avoid investing in themselves?

I wish I had the answer. Instead, I’ll show you three solid ways you can invest in yourself and the reasons you’ll be thrilled you did.

Investment option 1: Develop your Creativity

Most of us haven’t worked toward maximizing our own creativity. Exercises in pursuit of creative juices are often seen as frivolous or extracurricular. Poetry, painting, singing or play are all seen as habits of the broke and starving artists. In truth, we don’t see the benefit of tapping into our own personal stash of inventiveness without intentionally changing our mindset and thinking about why it might be the best idea ever.

Practically speaking, honing in on creativity allows you to come up with multiple ways to view anything: a piece of trash, the cloud floating over your house, your husband’s use of the word provocative.

But what about the business problem you’re facing for the first time?

You mean to tell me, Becky, creativity can help me come up with multiple solutions for the problems I face in my business?

Freaking right.

Need a few more ideas on where to start?

  • Gardening
  • Learn French (or Spanish, German or Italian…whatever)
  • Take a cooking class
  • Do something you’ve never done before

Investment option 2: Skill Expansion

As I first mentioned, higher education is an option here, but I don’t think it’s necessary all the time (bring out the firing squad).

You can improve your skills without years of schooling. (Plenty of development courses are out there for coaches and entrepreneurs that take much less time and are career-field specific, packing far more of a punch than gen eds at the community college.)

But skill expansion can take many forms outside of courses too: reading a book by an expert, working with your own coach on a new program, continuing to practice selling your services to current clients. Workshops and conferences not only help you gain knowledge, but they also help you grow your community and network. Articles are cool too (and YouTube videos).

Every option I’ve listed can help expand your content knowledge, but it also keeps you on top of the latest trends too.

Investment option 3: Support your mind and body

Taking care of your beautiful brain and bod will give you more of everything, ease and energy now and more time in the future. Self-care allows you to be less stressed and more strategic, and you’re going to look mighty fine in that swimsuit, sexy.

Learning new things is one way to support your mind. But learning ways to deal with the not-so-wonderful pieces of life is also a way to take care of your brain.

Exercise and healthy, nourishing foods take care of the bod. You can’t sit around at your computer ALL day and expect the girls to remain perky or your thigh gap dreams to come true (gross, by the way).

What you eat makes or breaks your energy and performance levels.

And how often you rest (read: as much as possible) helps you relax through the stress so your system doesn’t go into overdrive and blow up.

One thing most people consider enough is buying clothes that make you feel like a goddess. If you feel like you look good, you’re much more likely to take care of your body. I’m NOT implying plastic surgery or padding underwear, but there’s something to be said for wearing a skirt that makes you feel like a million bucks.

Confidence doesn’t pay attention to price tags. It just knows when it feels good.

Need more reason to spend money on yourself?

Personal investments help your career.

When you invest in yourself, you’re increasing the value your clients see in you (as your skill set and your confidence grows). If your clients see more value in your education and expertise, you’re able to earn more money.

Knowledge sets you apart from your competition, presents you as an expert, builds your confidence and brings in bank.