Crap someone should have told you writers by now
Sometimes, you don’t need preamble. Sometimes, you need someone to give it to you straight.
Hi. *waves*
This is for every writer on this whacked out planet.
• Your early work will suck.
• Your later work, in its early drafts, will still suck.
• No one cares about your writing unless you’re at (or near) the top of the New York Times bestseller list.
• Seriously. You could win the Pulitzer in literature and your friends would be, like, “Yeah, she’s writing or something boring like that. What a waste of time.”
• You cannot please everyone.
• YOU CANNOT PLEASE EVERYONE.
• So don’t try.
• Write for yourself. Failing that, write for one person.
• Listening to ten other people means ten extra people in your head when you write.
• That will fuck you up faster than a Sarah Palin gaffe.
• Example: “Polls are for strippers and cross-country skiers,“ Palin said at a Tea Party rally in Iowa, on Sept. 3, 2011.
• Polls are actually for finding out what people think about stuff. Which is your job as a writer.
• Because truly great novels, odes, short stories and even songs show what is happening around them.
• It’s worth repeating: Before you’re great, you will suck.
• You will latch onto words or phrases and repeat them throughout your work.
• The words and phrases you repeat will change over time.
• The habit of repeating shit will not.
• You may never feel good about what you write.
• Write anyway.
• It’s better to lack confidence. Shitty writers always think they’re great.
• Never let anyone tell you to stop doing what you love.
• EVER.
• The only “equipment” you need is a writing implement.
• Pen is nice because you can write on your body if you can’t find paper.
• Pencil is nice because it works in any weather and never runs out of ink.
• You will never have time to write.
• If you’re a writer, that won’t stop you.
• We all crave validation.
• You may or may not get it.
• Write anyway.
• You need an editor.
• If you are an editor, you definitely need an editor.
• At the beginning, being edited hurts more than childbirth.
• No really. I’ve had two kids.
• After a couple months, being edited will feel more like a mosquito bite.
• Not in the sense that you forget how painful it was. (That only applies to childbirth.)
• But you will feel less protective of your words after you build a relationship with your editor and realize he has your best interests in mind.
• You’ll find out who your real friends are as soon as you publish your first book.
• Don’t work with a coach, editor, publisher or anyone else without a contract.
• Read the fucking contract and understand it before you sign it.
• You’re worth more than you may ever realize.
• Your story could save someone else.
• It happens all the time.
• That’s what they mean when they say, “You could change the world with your writing.”
• You will not get rich writing.
• Write anyway.
• Because what you may lack in cash flow you will more than make up for in enrichment and mojo.
• Writing helps us make sense of our world.
• If we didn’t do it, we’d probably completely lose it.
• Most of us are on the edge already.
• We have to be in order to do a job that doesn’t pay, won’t make us famous and, oh yeah, is among the most difficult.
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