Tag Archive for: mindset

Here’s what’s up…

I’ve worked with thousands of women entrepreneurs all over the world. My goal, my mission, was, is and always will be to empower and give you the skills to explode your online businesses.

For years, I did this in a variety of ways, from one-on-one coaching to courses, from free advice in my Facebook communities to training series and webinars.

Here’s what I learned: It wasn’t enough.

Some women took the information and ran, building 6- and 7-figure businesses. Others did not.

So why could some use my FREE advice to shift their businesses in days – and make tens of thousands of dollars – while others paid me well for advice and didn’t follow through?

That was the question I set out to answer.

Note: Some people in my groups grabbed freebies like they were starved but did nothing with them. (That’s not the right kind of hunger.)

What I discovered prompted me to re-create a program and community, while falling in love with my purpose all over again.

And let me tell you, I’ve never been so lit up about anything in my life.

But before I get to that, back to the question.

These are highly-intelligent and motivated women. So lack of 7-figure success was not about brains or willingness to work.

I shared the same information, spilling all my secrets, with every client. My team and I created the websites, curated the copy, wrote social media posts, hired experts to teach them how to position themselves and more.

So what was missing?

What I discovered was it always came down to one thing – and ONLY one thing…

BELIEF.

The women who succeeded in big ways decided to change the way they thought.

They chose to believe they could do it and invested in their own futures, not just financially – not all the time – but mentally too.

They made the choice that no matter the external circumstances, they would win in the end.

See, most women are raised to stay out of the spotlight and help others. We nurture. We take care of everyone around us at our own expense.

We don’t show up bigger than other people in our lives. We don’t have strong opinions or create controversy, for fear of what other people might think.

And we certainly don’t pat ourselves on the back.

But as an entrepreneur? That shit has got to go.

You cannot sell if you aren’t in the spotlight.

You cannot show up as your best self for your business or your clients if you are exhausted from taking care of everyone else and never taking care of you.

You cannot build a business if you are the first one to step aside because you’re afraid of what other people may or may not think.

And you absolutely cannot continue to excel, rise, succeed, if you don’t recognize your accomplishments and celebrate them every damn step of the way.

Stop criticizing yourself.

Stop the self-flagellation.

Stop the perpetuation of not enough or too much.

The path to everything you ever wanted? Starts with putting yourself first by changing the way you think.

And I’m going to prove it to you…in my next email. (This one is way too long already.)

– Becky

P.S. The new program and community I mentioned? I’ll tell you more tomorrow. And it will undoubtedly be worth the wait.

Stuck? Read on.

Getting shit done is a mental game. And if you don’t pay attention, your mind will try to run the show.

In more than a decade working with women all over the world, I’ve noticed some themes. Here are the big players when it comes to self-sabotage…

Procrastination

It doesn’t matter how long you’ve wanted to do something, other obligations get in the way. It’s a cycle, and we often feel selfish dedicating time to something when we can’t see the payoff. But if you want your dream to turn into your reality, you must stop procrastinating. Yes, you have a family, a job or school.

You have appointments and real-life responsibilities (don’t even get me started on chores). The problem is, putting everything else first forces your dream to come last. When this happens, you’re not even giving yourself the opportunity to succeed.

Set aside time every day, whether it be fifteen minutes or an hour, to work toward your goal. By doing this, you’re committing to yourself and to your future. And you’re breaking the bad habit that keeps you from moving into the life you’ve always dreamed of.

Perfectionism

If you’re not working toward your dream, how can you even worry about perfection? What’s more important: starting out and making mistakes or waiting for the perfect moment or blog post or opportunity? When you wait on perfection, whatever that means to you, you’re insuring that nothing happens.

“My first chapter has to be spotless before I can move on.”

“I want to unveil this program, but I have to focus on every detail before I send it out to potential clients.”

Perfection is a dream killer. It’s an unattainable want. I tell writers and business-people this on the daily. Putting wants before needs kills progress. You need to start somewhere, and you need to understand perfection isn’t a place.

Putting one foot in front of the other and making mistakes is part of the journey. It builds resilience and makes you better at whatever the fuck you’re doing. There is always time to go back and revise and refocus, but you can’t begin to do that until you’ve made the first move. Stop procrastinating and start doing. You’ll thank me later.

Paralysis (via analysis)

A subcategory of perfection, people who are paralyzed begin questioning every move they make and cannot complete their goal because they’re hyper focused on smaller details.

“What if I tried X this way?”

“I wonder if I can change Y to get a better fit.”

Looking at one piece of the entire work doesn’t show you the big picture. You could have amazing copy for the home page of your website, but if the rest looks like shit you’re not fooling anyone. It’s the whole thing, the big picture you need in order for people to buy into your brand.

The people who are getting where you want to be, know that one tiny detail doesn’t have to be perfect before they move on. They focus on the main points, doing their best to keep moving, and then they go back and change what they don’t like, outline your entire project, then go back and revise whatever feels like it doesn’t fit.

Paranoia

Paranoia is the annoying-as-shit voice inside our heads, murdering our self-esteem: self-doubt. Ick.
We all have it, no matter what our project is:

“I’m a fraud.”

“Who am I to do X?”

“There is surely someone more qualified (or cheaper or more successful or better suited) to complete the same things.”

Listen, it’s normal to question our own performance. Actually, it’s healthy. As someone who wants to continue working toward being the best damn person you can be, it’s totally fine to evaluate your performance. It only becomes a problem when we allow our introspection to throw us backwards into one of the other dream-killers we talked about earlier.

That’s when it becomes paranoia.

If you’re doing any of the first three, you’re definitely doing it because you’re too damn hard on yourself. Give yourself the opportunity to run and fall. And then pick your fine ass back up and keep on keepin’ on. There is NOBODY who can do what you do exactly the same way. Because there is no other you alive.

And, if you feel like you need a little help, an ego boost to get moving, there is nothing wrong with hiring a coach. Maybe even one who loves German Shepherds and has two thumbs pointing back at her beautiful, sassy face. If you need help and don’t know where to start, email me (or give them some other call to action, Beckster).

All of this writing makes me tired, and reading it is another excuse for you. Get back on track, people.

It’s time to make shit happen.