I know writers who get up two hours early every day to get shit done before the world interferes.
I know writers who shut off their phones and Facebook for their scheduled midday “writing time.”
I know writers who have daily schedules, minutely defining when and how long they work on chapter XYZ, polish a troublesome paragraph, eat, and go for a walk.
You ask me all the time what a “real” writer’s day looks like. I always answer the same way (albeit not publicly, until now): Who is this “real” writer you speak of? And why do you give a shit how he spends his time?
YOU don’t need to follow someone else’s routine or rules in order to be a “writer.”
YOU don’t need to arrange your desk the way Stephen King does in order to have a bestseller.
YOU don’t need to use trendy new software to jam out the novel of your dreams.
YOU only need to write – in the way only YOU can.
Understandably, some people need structure or discipline so they can get in the habit of writing regularly.
What we don’t need is someone else’s structure. How J.K. Rowling parts her curtains in the morning is irrelevant. That’s another stall tactic. Another way to say, ‘Oh, my desk, office, [insert bullshit excuse] isn’t ready yet. I can’t write today.’
Enough screwing around.
But don’t take my word for it. Below are thoughts from five famous authors on their own daily routines:
Ray Bradbury oftensaid he could work anywhere. “I wrote in bedrooms and living rooms when I was growing up with my parents and my brother in a small house in Los Angeles. I worked on my typewriter in the living room, with the radio and my mother and dad and brother all talking at the same time. Later on, when I wanted to write Fahrenheit 451, I went up to UCLA and found a basement typing room where, if you inserted ten cents into the typewriter, you could buy thirty minutes of typing time.”
Kurt Vonnegut‘s famous routine included Scotch and swimming: “In an unmoored life like mine, sleep and hunger and work arrange themselves to suit themselves, without consulting me.”
Joan Didion said “the drink” helped. She also had an interesting way to complete a book. “Another thing I need to do, when I’m near the end of the book, is sleep in the same room with it. That’s one reason I go home to Sacramento to finish things. Somehow the book doesn’t leave you when you’re asleep right next to it.”
Jack Kerouac answered a question about his daily routine this way: “I’m beginning to suspect the full moon. Also I’m hung up on the number nine though I’m told a Piscean like myself should stick to number seven; but I try to do nine touchdowns a day, that is, I stand on my head in the bathroom, on a slipper, and touch the floor nine times with my toe tips, while balanced. This is incidentally more than yoga, it’s an athletic feat, I mean imagine calling me ‘unbalanced’ after that.”
Perhaps the late, great E.B. White said it best: “A writer who waits for ideal conditions under which to work will die without putting a word on paper.”
When someone asks about my writing routine, I quote Ferris Bueller. “You realize if we played by the rules, right now we’d be in gym?”
By now, my advice for nearly all things writing may have become an aggressively mediocre cliché, but I hope you’ll still use it regularly: Fuck the rules. Just write.
• • •
Don’t know where to start? Stuck, stalled, uninspired? Hit me up. And be sure to subscribe to this site in the upper right-hand corner. That way, I can send the sexiest, most liberating and inspiring tidbits of writing advice straight to your inbox.
Writing and marketing. What YOU want.
Last week, I asked the kids on Facebook what they are burning to know about this thing we call writing. Questions came up about marketing and promoting, the pitfalls of a first-time author, self-publishing, building a fan base, and the time it takes to see substantial web traffic for your blog or website.
Not one of them asked about words. Anyone else find this ironic?
Every day, I read hundreds of posts and tweets about writers’ block, not having time to write, and the fear of doing it wrong – to name a few obstacles. But you want to know how to market. Who am I to judge?
Luckily, the answer to writing well and marketing and promotion are exactly the same: In all cases, just be yourself.
We stand out by being unique. Nowhere is this more true than on the internet, where billions of people pimp themselves and their work every day – particularly authors. So how do you gain recognition in a pool that large? By being you.
Think about it. By default, no one on this planet is like you. Each of us has our own experiences, emotions, opinions, appearance – genetic code for chrissakes. No two people are the same. So use that. Show people who you are.
I’m sarcastic, brash and vulgar. That’s no gimmick. (Believe me, no one wishes it were more than my mother.) I am a product of all my combined experiences. And I have no problem showing you who I am.
So who are you? Take that and build your author platform, website, blog, whatever. (Yes, you should use social media. If no one can find you, you won’t have an audience. But don’t make it harder than it has to be.)
As for good writing – the shit people actually care about when reading a book – the solution is the same. We don’t give a rat’s sweet ass how anyone else does it. You write your way and I write mine. It’s the same principle as marketing. No one is just like you. Therefore, as Michael Xavier says, no one can tell the story like you. More about that here.
I understand how easy it is to get stuck thinking about how things should be. Of how we want to be perceived. The problem with trying to write like someone else – or build a persona like someone else – is it’s not sustainable. You can’t do it for long. And why would you want to anyway? You are not Stephen King. I am not Mark Twain. But that doesn’t mean we don’t have valuable messages to share.
So when you’re writing, ask yourself questions to keep you from trying to be someone else. Would my best friend walk away if I read this to him? Do I believe in what I am saying? Does this sound like me?
Because generic sucks.
If you think you’re not good enough, you’re hardly alone. It is true that someone will always be better. Someone will always be smarter. Someone will always be more eloquent. But they will never be YOU.
Fact: YOU have a story to tell that no one else can tell in the same way.
Fact: YOU can use both of those things to fulfill your writing dreams.
Want more? Subscribe to this site in the upper right hand corner and I’ll send you a free copy of my book, “A Writer’s Voice. What it is. Why it matters. And how to develop yours.”
• • •
If you need help polishing a work in progress, hammering out a novel or writing any other random thing at all, consider this: The world has too many people who say you can’t. I say you can and you will, and then I’ll show you how.
A writer’s routine means sweet f*ck-all
I know writers who get up two hours early every day to get shit done before the world interferes.
I know writers who shut off their phones and Facebook for their scheduled midday “writing time.”
I know writers who have daily schedules, minutely defining when and how long they work on chapter XYZ, polish a troublesome paragraph, eat, and go for a walk.
You ask me all the time what a “real” writer’s day looks like. I always answer the same way (albeit not publicly, until now): Who is this “real” writer you speak of? And why do you give a shit how he spends his time?
YOU don’t need to follow someone else’s routine or rules in order to be a “writer.”
YOU don’t need to arrange your desk the way Stephen King does in order to have a bestseller.
YOU only need to write – in the way only YOU can.
Understandably, some people need structure or discipline so they can get in the habit of writing regularly.
What we don’t need is someone else’s structure. How J.K. Rowling parts her curtains in the morning is irrelevant. That’s another stall tactic. Another way to say, ‘Oh, my desk, office, [insert bullshit excuse] isn’t ready yet. I can’t write today.’
Enough screwing around.
But don’t take my word for it. Below are thoughts from five famous authors on their own daily routines:
Ray Bradbury oftensaid he could work anywhere. “I wrote in bedrooms and living rooms when I was growing up with my parents and my brother in a small house in Los Angeles. I worked on my typewriter in the living room, with the radio and my mother and dad and brother all talking at the same time. Later on, when I wanted to write Fahrenheit 451, I went up to UCLA and found a basement typing room where, if you inserted ten cents into the typewriter, you could buy thirty minutes of typing time.”
Kurt Vonnegut‘s famous routine included Scotch and swimming: “In an unmoored life like mine, sleep and hunger and work arrange themselves to suit themselves, without consulting me.”
Joan Didion said “the drink” helped. She also had an interesting way to complete a book. “Another thing I need to do, when I’m near the end of the book, is sleep in the same room with it. That’s one reason I go home to Sacramento to finish things. Somehow the book doesn’t leave you when you’re asleep right next to it.”
Jack Kerouac answered a question about his daily routine this way: “I’m beginning to suspect the full moon. Also I’m hung up on the number nine though I’m told a Piscean like myself should stick to number seven; but I try to do nine touchdowns a day, that is, I stand on my head in the bathroom, on a slipper, and touch the floor nine times with my toe tips, while balanced. This is incidentally more than yoga, it’s an athletic feat, I mean imagine calling me ‘unbalanced’ after that.”
Perhaps the late, great E.B. White said it best: “A writer who waits for ideal conditions under which to work will die without putting a word on paper.”
When someone asks about my writing routine, I quote Ferris Bueller. “You realize if we played by the rules, right now we’d be in gym?”
By now, my advice for nearly all things writing may have become an aggressively mediocre cliché, but I hope you’ll still use it regularly: Fuck the rules. Just write.
• • •
Don’t know where to start? Stuck, stalled, uninspired? Hit me up. And be sure to subscribe to this site in the upper right-hand corner. That way, I can send the sexiest, most liberating and inspiring tidbits of writing advice straight to your inbox.