The reason we don’t practice the things we know are good for us isn’t what we think.
Let’s be honest, for most of us, it’s not really about time.
We say that. But, usually the situation is much more nuanced.
We all have time. Even if it’s micro moments. When we step into the car we can pause and breathe. When we wake up we can take 30 seconds to check in. When we get in the shower we can mindfully feel the water cascading down our skin.
Of course it’s more challenging for some: people with kids, those with multiple jobs, neurodivergent folks, people with trauma (we all have trauma). Of course, we can also include those with challenging health conditions.
But still, there’s something else going on here. I think.
I’m not talking about not having enough structure. Not feeling motivated. Not knowing what to do.
Sure, all those things matter, to a degree.
However, there’s something else. Something deeper.
An undercurrent that silently and sneakily informs and shapes everything.
What is that?
Our relationship to practice itself.
We were all brainwashed to have this whole thing completely upside down and inside out.
We’re more focused on the goal, where we’re not. Where we think we should be.
We get caught up in measuring, analyzing, criticizing, to the extent that we become divorced inside from the very reason we practice:
To connect with ourselves and be with what is.
Which is the only way to transform.
If we can’t be with what is, the sensations, the energetic pulses, the somatic currents running through us, then we’ll never be able to be in a relationship with what is here. If we can’t be in a relationship with it, we can’t shift it.
Which is what we all want, right?
We want to feel different. Better. Calmer. More relaxed. More capable. More alive. More mobile. Stronger.
Whatever it is. We want it.
And we should. There’s nothing wrong with desiring change and progress. Especially if you feel like crap.
But our focus on getting to the thing leads to what I call “checking off energy.”
We want to check off the self care thing. The yoga class. The smoothie. The breathwork. The deadlifts. The shaking and the tapping.
Whatever it is, we want to make sure we just do it. And that is totally understandable. There’s nothing wrong with just wanting to show up.
Showing up is great.
But just showing up is never going to get you to where you want to go.
A different energy, a more oblique, softer approach is needed.
An approach where we’re befriending our bodies. Giving up the reigns to let them lead for a moment or two.
That’s scary.
Because for many of us, there’s a lot there. There’s a lot we haven’t listened to. There’s a lot we haven’t wanted to feel and be with. Because we’re afraid or didn’t know how.
We think we need to do it all at once. Clean out the whole garage in one go.
We don’t.
We can start small.
We can start by saying hello.
Which is the first step. The closest step.
Saying hello to your body can lead to greeting it in a way where you begin the first steps to building a relationship with it.
Being with it. Not just doing things to it.
This post was written by Jonathan Mead, who graciously gave us permission to reprint. Check him out at embodiedmovement.co and on Instagram at @jonathanmead.
The real reason we don’t practice
The reason we don’t practice the things we know are good for us isn’t what we think.
Let’s be honest, for most of us, it’s not really about time.
We say that. But, usually the situation is much more nuanced.
We all have time. Even if it’s micro moments. When we step into the car we can pause and breathe. When we wake up we can take 30 seconds to check in. When we get in the shower we can mindfully feel the water cascading down our skin.
Of course it’s more challenging for some: people with kids, those with multiple jobs, neurodivergent folks, people with trauma (we all have trauma). Of course, we can also include those with challenging health conditions.
But still, there’s something else going on here. I think.
I’m not talking about not having enough structure. Not feeling motivated. Not knowing what to do.
Sure, all those things matter, to a degree.
However, there’s something else. Something deeper.
An undercurrent that silently and sneakily informs and shapes everything.
What is that?
Our relationship to practice itself.
We were all brainwashed to have this whole thing completely upside down and inside out.
We’re more focused on the goal, where we’re not. Where we think we should be.
We get caught up in measuring, analyzing, criticizing, to the extent that we become divorced inside from the very reason we practice:
To connect with ourselves and be with what is.
Which is the only way to transform.
If we can’t be with what is, the sensations, the energetic pulses, the somatic currents running through us, then we’ll never be able to be in a relationship with what is here. If we can’t be in a relationship with it, we can’t shift it.
Which is what we all want, right?
We want to feel different. Better. Calmer. More relaxed. More capable. More alive. More mobile. Stronger.
Whatever it is. We want it.
And we should. There’s nothing wrong with desiring change and progress. Especially if you feel like crap.
But our focus on getting to the thing leads to what I call “checking off energy.”
We want to check off the self care thing. The yoga class. The smoothie. The breathwork. The deadlifts. The shaking and the tapping.
Whatever it is, we want to make sure we just do it. And that is totally understandable. There’s nothing wrong with just wanting to show up.
Showing up is great.
But just showing up is never going to get you to where you want to go.
A different energy, a more oblique, softer approach is needed.
An approach where we’re befriending our bodies. Giving up the reigns to let them lead for a moment or two.
That’s scary.
Because for many of us, there’s a lot there. There’s a lot we haven’t listened to. There’s a lot we haven’t wanted to feel and be with. Because we’re afraid or didn’t know how.
We think we need to do it all at once. Clean out the whole garage in one go.
We don’t.
We can start small.
We can start by saying hello.
Which is the first step. The closest step.
Saying hello to your body can lead to greeting it in a way where you begin the first steps to building a relationship with it.
Being with it. Not just doing things to it.
This post was written by Jonathan Mead, who graciously gave us permission to reprint. Check him out at embodiedmovement.co and on Instagram at @jonathanmead.
Why you shouldn’t be an entrepreneur
For every person out there who goes after her dream, ten more sit on their hands and whine. Trust me. I hear from them every day.
I work 12-hour days. I’m exhausted.
I have kids and a husband and a full-time job.
I don’t know how.
Who would listen to me anyway?
But who am I to show up and say what helped me?
Good, then go take a nap and quit bitching about the dream you have of being your own boss and actually impacting human lives in a real, tangible way.
The rest of us stay up late and get up early if we need to. We function on four hours of sleep (sometimes less) and all but kill ourselves to get our message out. Because. We. Must.
Because the burn – the desire to support people and fulfill our mission – is so great, we can’t sleep anyway.
I’m officially declaring war on bullshit excuses
I work with women who get up at 3 a.m. and work on their own business until they have to get the kids off to school. Some stay up until dawn instead. A few do both. Some use their lunch breaks. Some record their ideas on their cell phones during the commute.
“My passions drive me to the typewriter every day of my life, and they have driven me there since I was twelve,” Ray Bradbury once said. “So I never have to worry about schedules. Some new thing is always exploding in me, and it schedules me, I don’t schedule it. It says: Get to the typewriter right now and finish this.”
But I’ll be too tired.
But no one understands what I’m trying to create. They look at me like I’m insane.
But my relationship with my spouse and children will suffer.
Really? Your family won’t understand if you need an hour or two to yourself every day to do what you love? You can’t muscle through a workday on too little sleep? Or is the truth simply you’re afraid you will fail?
Ernest Hemingway – Nobel Prize in Literature, Pulitzer Prize for Fiction, Bronze Star Medal – said the most terrifying thing he ever encountered was “a blank sheet of paper.”
Writing is hard. Creating is hard. Being your own boss is hard.
It’s not lucrative at the start. It’s isolating and often heartbreaking. So if you’re not getting it done, don’t beat yourself up.
Not everyone is meant to be her own boss
Not everyone has the fire, hears the thunder, feels the promise of the moonlight.
And that’s okay.
But the rest of us can’t help it.
Nelson Algren, who won the National Book award for his novel The Man With the Golden Arm, spent five months in jail for stealing a typewriter. That is dedication.
“In an unmoored life like mine, sleep and hunger and work arrange themselves to suit themselves, without consulting me,” Kurt Vonnegut said.
So decide. Are you finally ready to dedicate yourself to your business? To do what it takes until it takes?
No one one will blame you if you’re not.
But if you are, take every excuse and flush it. Then get to work.
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