Leave the door ajar

It’s important that he validate my work. That he see the beauty, the effort. Yet, these many months, he is silent. Contemplation?

He taught me what I know. He is, in fact, personally responsible for shaping the writer I’ve become. It was a loop of patient listening and penetrative questions. No surrender, nor rescue. I learned to keep what is essential and disregard the rest.

Now, I want him to see the value produced. A talent honed and sent into the world. Because that’s what he did. He set the bar for my personal best – a friendly competition. Sometimes, you lose to win. Sometimes, that’s the best success.

Innocence and faith have their place, he said. But creating beauty is often arduous. Intimacy can be rigorous. So pace yourself.

And I did.

You cannot escape the truth. Every fool has a secret that protects him: The magic of synchronicity. Proceed without calculation, hesitation, resistance. Trust your own mystery.

The way it turns out is up to you. But waiting is important. Offer humble support, or join the dance. Don’t fear the wild card. Have the courage to rekindle purpose and hope. Renew the commitment to your desires. When you’re ready. When you’re ready . . . When you’re ready.

It took intense effort. It demanded energy I did not have to spare, or so I thought. But it promised rewards so great, I couldn’t look away from the horizon. The price of success is continued exertion.

I know he thinks about his student. But what does he think?

And then it came, almost 10 years from the day we began.

“I was intimidated with how well you write, and how your mind works,” he said. “You seem quite brilliant. You write at a different level than the rest of us.”

My deepest truths revealed, because I earned his trust and loyalty. He met me halfway. The dramatic agendas – the tenderness and vulnerability – were dropped years ago. But once in a while, we need to be told how well we’ve served our craft. Once in a while, only the words of your master will do.

Once in a while, you should leave the door ajar for abundance and fulfillment.

18 replies
  1. Wendryn
    Wendryn says:

    My little brother, who was 28, died of a blood clot on June 9, completely unexpectedly. I have no idea how to get through it, and I’m only starting to be able to do more than what is absolutely required to get through the day. Reading blogs I like and commenting is a start, and eventually I might be able to write again. For the moment, though, it’s just baby steps to get through the void.


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