Don’t be full of sh*t

It’s time for the third tool is the arsenal that is #30daystorise. This series was created to arm you with the skills necessary to become the industry leader you say you want to be.

At the end of today’s email, I share details about how to join me to learn how to implement all these tools to build a bulletproof mindset, and stake your claim in your industry.

Today, we’re talking about honesty and weakness.

Tool #3: Don’t be full of shit

Coaches are always talking about how we are the only things in our way.

Here’s what that actually means…

We all have a collection of weaknesses, limiting beliefs and thought patterns that are liabilities and perceived inadequacies. Most people ignore their own “weaknesses” because it feels too painful or scary to reveal them. We pretend they don’t exist.

The truth is the only thing standing in your way of greatness is your inability to face that crap.

None of us are as good as we could be. We’re nowhere near as good as we want to be. We know it takes time and effort to improve.

BUT if we aren’t radically honest about our weaknesses, ways of self-sabotage and negative patterns, they aren’t going to go away. Ever.

You cannot heal what you refuse to reveal.

As long as we sweep weaknesses under the carpet, we never, ever look at them, get objective and choose to improve. We never, ever grow into the industry leader we say we want to be.

In The Art of War, Sun Tzu says, “invincibility is a matter of defense.”

That means, in order to be unstoppable, you need to have zero weaknesses to exploit.

Here’s an example:

Let’s say you’re worried about visibility, but push through the fear and show up anyway. And then someone points out that the background or lighting wasn’t good, or you could have been more clear, or what you said was boring.

You’re may be triggered. You may spin out in shitty thoughts for days. You may vow to never live stream again. You may obsess before every live stream from that moment on, constantly worried about more negative feedback.

Why? That weakness you have about being visible was never healed.

On the other hand, someone who live streams all the time and is perfectly comfortable on camera could get the same feedback and not even notice. More likely, the confidence live streamer would think there is something wrong with the person doing the negative commenting. Because the person comfortable with visibility has no wound around this issue.

When you admit your weaknesses and actively work on them, you’re unstoppable.

With no weaknesses to exploit, you are in the ultimate position of power.

The key is being aware of your weaknesses, and being all in on improving yourself and your mindset, until the weakness isn’t a factor any longer.

Few people actually follow-through and do this. It requires mental endurance and high-level commitment.

And if you aren’t doing it, there’s an excellent chance you’re not walking your talk.

Ergo, you’re full of shit.

How can anyone claim to help other people improve their lives without first choosing to do the work to improve their own? There’s no integrity there.

How to know if you are using this tool:

  • Do you know what your weaknesses are?
  • How often do you do the work to eliminate these weaknesses and heal the wounds?
  • Do you have a plan?

How to implement this tool:

  • List all the ways you could be triggered in life and business.
  • Use this awareness to create a working list of your weaknesses.
  • Systematically eliminate them by choosing to heal wounds, removing shitty beliefs and reprogramming your mind.

We’re only up to tool #3 in the series.

Can you already see how choosing to ditch the negativity, owning your shit, and working on your weaknesses EVERY DAY makes you a better human rapidly?

This is about self-awareness, self-control and emotional intelligence. The stronger your skills in these areas, the faster you create business results and personal transformation.

My new program, GAME-CHANGER, shows you how to do this from the ground up. I breakdown exactly what it takes to craft and then embody a bulletproof success mindset. We talk ambition, staking a claim, demanding what you deserve, boundaries, and divorcing yourself from others’ opinions, and much more.

I literally give you the blueprint for how to BE a true leader: The woman with the highest standards and best practices, and who gets results on her terms.

Because once you master yourself, and commit to showing up as you 100% of the time, you can’t lose.

We start April 8. Go check it out.

– Becky

P.S. I’ll be back soon with tool #4 – and it’s going to trigger the fuck out of some people. I can’t wait.

Influence is an art

Today, we’re talking about influence, and how you can’t do it if you don’t know yourself.

Tool #2: It’s not about them (aka: Own your shit)

Most of the emotional pain I’ve been through in my life comes from other people. Or rather, my REACTION to other people.

I used to tell myself things like:

“Why can’t he just get it?”
“She doesn’t understand me.”
“Wow, that guy was an ass.”

Here’s the thing, though…

Wishing other people were different is a sign of emotional immaturity on OUR part.

Instead of hoping they understand you, or constantly being triggered by someone else’s behavior, work on your own emotional resilience.

Look inward and ask yourself why you are allowing your emotions to be controlled by other people.

True mastery is high emotional intelligence – a harbinger of the modern leader, by the way.

How to know if you are using this tool:

  • How often do you get frustrated or angry with a client, or friend, or someone you see online?
  • Why do you get frustrated or angry?
  • How often do you complain about how someone else is behaving?
  • How confident do you feel in your ability to lead and influence, despite how people may or may not behave?

How to implement this tool:

  • If you are constantly triggered by what’s going on around you, you’re weak-minded. It’s time to do some internal work on how you became so vulnerable to what other people think, say or do.
  • Complaining about how others behave is a sign we are losing our focus and abdicating responsibility. We are believing, in those moments, that somehow those people are responsible for our feelings. Which is bullshit. No one can make you feel anything. Only you can do that.
  • Leading and influencing require high emotional intelligence. So, if you’re someone who loses her shit when things don’t turn out, or when someone replies with snark, that means you are leaving your rational mind and becoming emotional. The moment you become emotional, you lose your seat of power. Logic is gone and we begin reacting (not choosing thoughtful, intelligent responses). And no one can lead from a reactionary place.

True leadership and Influence is complicated and fluid.

You’ve got to know yourself if you want to attract raving fans and guide them to better lives.

You have to take responsibility for your own emotions and own your shit before anyone will buy into your message and you as a leader. Which is why influence is an art.

If you haven’t yet, be sure to join my private Facebook community, Tune In. Turn On., where I am LIVE twice a week going in-depth on these tools.

– Becky

P.S. Implementing these tools requires persistence and consistency. Building a bulletproof mindset, and staking your claim in your industry, requires time and effort. If you know what you’re doing isn’t working, apply for a seat in my new 90-program, Game-Changer. 

Seats are limited and the time is now.