Tag Archive for: sabotage

Stuck? Read on.

Getting shit done is a mental game. And if you don’t pay attention, your mind will try to run the show.

In more than a decade working with women all over the world, I’ve noticed some themes. Here are the big players when it comes to self-sabotage…

Procrastination

It doesn’t matter how long you’ve wanted to do something, other obligations get in the way. It’s a cycle, and we often feel selfish dedicating time to something when we can’t see the payoff. But if you want your dream to turn into your reality, you must stop procrastinating. Yes, you have a family, a job or school.

You have appointments and real-life responsibilities (don’t even get me started on chores). The problem is, putting everything else first forces your dream to come last. When this happens, you’re not even giving yourself the opportunity to succeed.

Set aside time every day, whether it be fifteen minutes or an hour, to work toward your goal. By doing this, you’re committing to yourself and to your future. And you’re breaking the bad habit that keeps you from moving into the life you’ve always dreamed of.

Perfectionism

If you’re not working toward your dream, how can you even worry about perfection? What’s more important: starting out and making mistakes or waiting for the perfect moment or blog post or opportunity? When you wait on perfection, whatever that means to you, you’re insuring that nothing happens.

“My first chapter has to be spotless before I can move on.”

“I want to unveil this program, but I have to focus on every detail before I send it out to potential clients.”

Perfection is a dream killer. It’s an unattainable want. I tell writers and business-people this on the daily. Putting wants before needs kills progress. You need to start somewhere, and you need to understand perfection isn’t a place.

Putting one foot in front of the other and making mistakes is part of the journey. It builds resilience and makes you better at whatever the fuck you’re doing. There is always time to go back and revise and refocus, but you can’t begin to do that until you’ve made the first move. Stop procrastinating and start doing. You’ll thank me later.

Paralysis (via analysis)

A subcategory of perfection, people who are paralyzed begin questioning every move they make and cannot complete their goal because they’re hyper focused on smaller details.

“What if I tried X this way?”

“I wonder if I can change Y to get a better fit.”

Looking at one piece of the entire work doesn’t show you the big picture. You could have amazing copy for the home page of your website, but if the rest looks like shit you’re not fooling anyone. It’s the whole thing, the big picture you need in order for people to buy into your brand.

The people who are getting where you want to be, know that one tiny detail doesn’t have to be perfect before they move on. They focus on the main points, doing their best to keep moving, and then they go back and change what they don’t like, outline your entire project, then go back and revise whatever feels like it doesn’t fit.

Paranoia

Paranoia is the annoying-as-shit voice inside our heads, murdering our self-esteem: self-doubt. Ick.
We all have it, no matter what our project is:

“I’m a fraud.”

“Who am I to do X?”

“There is surely someone more qualified (or cheaper or more successful or better suited) to complete the same things.”

Listen, it’s normal to question our own performance. Actually, it’s healthy. As someone who wants to continue working toward being the best damn person you can be, it’s totally fine to evaluate your performance. It only becomes a problem when we allow our introspection to throw us backwards into one of the other dream-killers we talked about earlier.

That’s when it becomes paranoia.

If you’re doing any of the first three, you’re definitely doing it because you’re too damn hard on yourself. Give yourself the opportunity to run and fall. And then pick your fine ass back up and keep on keepin’ on. There is NOBODY who can do what you do exactly the same way. Because there is no other you alive.

And, if you feel like you need a little help, an ego boost to get moving, there is nothing wrong with hiring a coach. Maybe even one who loves German Shepherds and has two thumbs pointing back at her beautiful, sassy face. If you need help and don’t know where to start, email me (or give them some other call to action, Beckster).

All of this writing makes me tired, and reading it is another excuse for you. Get back on track, people.

It’s time to make shit happen.