POP QUIZ on trauma-informed coaching

Trauma-informed coaching is not just a trend—it’s a necessity in high demand.

Experts say, year over year since COVID, the need has increased 20% per 12 months with no end in sight.

1: Sarah always insists on handling things alone and refuses help, even when she’s clearly struggling with her workload. Is this a trauma response or not? If yes, how do you support your client?

2: Mark finds it hard to trust his team and feels the need to double-check everyone’s work before approving it. His attention to detail is impeccable, but he ends up working late almost every day. Trauma response or not? If yes, how do you support your client?

3: Rachel tends to shut down in meetings when feedback is given, becoming quiet and withdrawn for the rest of the day. Her colleagues assume she’s just not interested in participating. What do you think—trauma response or not? If yes, how do you support your client?

Here are the answers:

Scenario 1: Sarah always insists on handling things alone and refuses help, even when she’s clearly struggling with her workload.

Answer: Trauma Response.

Explanation: Sarah’s insistence on doing everything alone may be rooted in a survival response from past experiences where she couldn’t rely on others. Trauma can lead people to develop a “hyper-independence” as a way to feel safe, often arising from situations where they had to depend only on themselves.

How do we handle it?

Acknowledge and Validate: Start by recognizing her perspective without judgment. “It sounds like handling things on your own feels important to you. That makes sense if it’s worked for you in the past.”

Gently Explore the Root Cause: Ask questions to help her reflect on why she prefers working alone. “Have there been times when relying on others didn’t feel safe or didn’t work out as you hoped?”

Reframe Support: Position help as a tool for achieving her goals, not a weakness. “What if accepting support could give you more time or energy for the parts of your work you enjoy most?”

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Scenario 2: Mark finds it hard to trust his team and feels the need to double-check everyone’s work before approving it.

Answer: Trauma Response.

Explanation: Mark’s behavior suggests a need for control, often a response to past experiences where things felt chaotic or unpredictable. Trauma can make people feel safer when they control every detail, and lack of trust in others’ work could be a way of managing underlying anxiety.

How do we handle it?

Scenario 2: Mark finds it hard to trust his team and feels the need to double-check everyone’s work before approving it.

Create a Safe Space: Reassure him that his feelings are valid. “It makes sense to want to ensure things are done right. That must feel like a lot to carry.”

Explore Underlying Fears: Help him identify what’s driving his need for control. “What’s at stake for you if things don’t go as planned? What would feel different if you trusted your team more?”

Introduce Incremental Trust-Building: Encourage small steps toward delegation. “What’s one task you could hand off this week, just as a trial? How would it feel to start there?”

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Scenario 3: Rachel tends to shut down in meetings when feedback is given, becoming quiet and withdrawn for the rest of the day.

Answer: Trauma Response.

Explanation: Rachel’s reaction to feedback might stem from previous experiences where criticism felt threatening or unsafe. Trauma can lead people to withdraw or “freeze” when they perceive even mild criticism, as their nervous system may respond as if they’re under threat.

How do we handle it?

Recognize the Emotional Impact: Show empathy for how feedback affects her. “It seems like receiving feedback feels overwhelming at times. That’s completely okay to feel.”

Reframe Feedback: Help her see it as an opportunity for growth rather than judgment. “What if feedback could be seen as support to help you improve, not criticism?”

Coach on Resilience: Provide tools to manage her emotional response. “When feedback feels tough, how do you usually process it? What strategies could help you feel more grounded?”

Empower Through Reflection: Encourage her to reflect on past successes with feedback. “Can you think of a time when feedback helped you grow? How could that perspective help here?”

The key principles of trauma-informed coaching include:

• Safety: Ensure the client feels emotionally safe and understood.
• Empathy: Validate their feelings and experiences without rushing to solutions.
• Pacing: Work at the client’s comfort level, encouraging small, manageable steps.
• Empowerment: Frame challenges as opportunities for self-discovery and growth.

These approaches create a supportive environment where clients can process, reflect, and begin shifting their behaviors over time.

There’s plenty more to explore and lean into, but this is a good start. If you want to become a certified trauma-informed coach, check out our program. We start Dec. 4.