Feeling like a failure is normal

You’re scared? Good. That means you’re moving forward. Chasing something. Going after what you want.

Frankly, the times when I’m not scared – when, for instance, I stay in bed an entire day, telling myself I suck and I should pack it in – that’s when shit gets ugly.

Yeah, I do that on occasion. Two weeks ago today was the last time. It was also the day before I launched the pre-sale for my new book (THE Guide) and my new writing class (6+).

Here’s the deal: Making big things happen brings on doubt – about everything. What you do. Who you are. Who you want to be. All of it goes under the microscope. That’s normal.

So what happens when you can’t come out from under the blankets? Well, that depends on whether or not you have kids. Because they don’t care what you have going on. They want shit and you’re going to get it for them. (If you’re not parent, then stay in bed.)

We spend a lot of time telling ourselves we’re doing things wrong. Or we shouldn’t be doing things. Or we should be doing other things. What we don’t do very much is listen to our bodies. If you want to stay in bed, do it. Get it out of your system.

Because eventually, once you’ve given yourself permission to feel whatever feelings are making you want to stay in bed, you will want to get up. And launch a book. Or start a new class for writers. Or any other crazy ass thing you can think of. (Maybe the crazy is just me? Nah.)

These days, my life is about doing what I want to do. I’m not always great about it, but I’m trying. I don’t beat myself up anymore if I need a break. I don’t stress that I’m a complete ass and everyone hates me because I swear. (Sorry, Mom.) I no longer bother trying to please everyone.

What I’ve learned by being gentler with myself is that I feel more empowered.

I don’t need anyone’s permission to be myself. That frees me up – it energizes me – to do the creative work I love with people who like my style.

My point?

Anyone who goes for it will fall down along the way. Feeling like a failure is a part of success. Being scares shitless is a step in the process. They both mean you’re not sitting on your ass whining, like most of your critics. *snicker*

I fall on my face all the time. You’d be shocked if you knew how much time and money I’ve sunk into useless products, dead-end projects and bad deals.

But I also learned from those mistakes.

Feeling like a failure is normal. Sometimes it means you’re sitting on the edge of your biggest success. But even if it doesn’t, your world is not going to crumble.

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3 replies
  1. Ellen
    Ellen says:

    Phew – thanks for taking this task off my huge To Do list! You said it all and now I don’t have to.

    I’ve been feeling overwhelmed and a snarky little voice keeps whispering, “Is it worth it? Go back to a simpler life!” And then I remind myself of all those times I was so dissatisfied by that so called simple life.

    I didn’t stay in bed but I did finally cry. I feel whiney and stupid but it had to be done. I had to let the doubt, the fear, and the negativity OUT. I’m not hosting you anymore. I have better things to do.

    Reply

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