Top three reasons writers give up

1 – They value everyone else’s time more than their own. An endless list of daily responsibilities takes precedence.

2 – Their paying gig eats most of their days away, leaving little oomph to pursue their writing.

3 – They think they aren’t good enough.

And all three of those bullshit excuses translate to the same thing: They don’t trust their dream.

If you’re one of those writers, if you’ve lost faith in your ability to tell your story, then we need to chat. Now.

We all get tired, overwhelmed, cranky. We all beat the crap out of ourselves, spend too much time thinking we suck and that other people need us more than we need to write. That this silly dream we have of finishing a book, story, poem, even blog post, isn’t worth missing moments with our kids, spouses, friends.

That’s crap.

Speaking as a parent, what the hell am I teaching my kids about pursuing their dreams if I don’t make time to follow my own? What message do I send about respecting boundaries if I am always available for family and friends and never make time for me? And how else am I going to find out how good I really am if I don’t sit down, shut the fuck up and write?

Rhetorical questions. You get the point.

If you want to write – if you need to write – then please, for the love of all things alcoholic and caffeinated, WRITE.

I want to finish the book I started four years ago, but I’m not sure I have the time now that I have kids.

I write for business every day, but I want to tackle creative writing. I’ve had a story in my head for as long as I can remember. But my job is so stressful, I’m afraid I won’t have the stamina to finish what I start.

I have a great idea for a novella and no clue where to begin, or if it’s even worth bothering.

I get messages like these every day. My response is always the same: Life is about choices.

Every time you choose to do something other than write – something other than follow your passion – you’re saying your work, feelings, hopes are not valuable. Is that what you believe?

Yeah, I get the whole Mom, Wife, Employee, Daughter routine. I live it, too. And I’m proud to say that my oldest (now a teenager) wrote a comic book in second grade and sold copies to his friends for 25 cents. My youngest (10) just finished his first book, which he calls “a series of narrative essays on his life.” And when my very first front page story came out back when I was a reporter, my husband actually cried he was so fucking proud.

No shit, y’all.

So get off your ass – if not for yourself, for everyone else who looks up to you and cares about you. Show them how grownups take the world by the balls. Because you will never have the time to write if you don’t make the time.

And while I have your attention

You know my little Write Raw program? The one where I spend a month helping you bring power and clarity to your voice so you can completely kickass for the rest of your writing life? That sucker goes for $499. And oh-my-fucking-GAWD, that ain’t cheap. I know this.

$499 is, in fact, a pile o’ money.

It’s slightly more than the cost of an XBOX 360. Slightly less than new Nikon camera. And the same price as 3,000 marshmallow peeps. (Yes, I checked.)

It’s also roughly half the price of a 60-inch HD TV, and the same amount as the couch you’d plant your ass on to watch it – instead of following your fucking dream and writing. Oh, and it’s less than the cost of one night with a high-end escort.

What’s your writing – your dream – worth to you?

• • •

Psst. Subscribe to this site in the upper right hand corner and I’ll send you a free copy of my book, “A Writer’s Voice. What it is. Why it matters. And how to develop yours.” Who doesn’t love free shit?

If you need help polishing a work in progress, hammering out a novel or writing any other random thing at all, consider this: The world has too many people who say you can’t. I say you can and you will, and then I’ll show you how.

Writing and marketing. What YOU want.

Last week, I asked the kids on Facebook what they are burning to know about this thing we call writing. Questions came up about marketing and promoting, the pitfalls of a first-time author, self-publishing, building a fan base, and the time it takes to see substantial web traffic for your blog or website.

Not one of them asked about words. Anyone else find this ironic?

Every day, I read hundreds of posts and tweets about writers’ block, not having time to write, and the fear of doing it wrong – to name a few obstacles. But you want to know how to market. Who am I to judge?

Luckily, the answer to writing well and marketing and promotion are exactly the same: In all cases, just be yourself.

We stand out by being unique. Nowhere is this more true than on the internet, where billions of people pimp themselves and their work every day – particularly authors. So how do you gain recognition in a pool that large? By being you.

Think about it. By default, no one on this planet is like you. Each of us has our own experiences, emotions, opinions, appearance – genetic code for chrissakes. No two people are the same. So use that. Show people who you are.

I’m sarcastic, brash and vulgar. That’s no gimmick. (Believe me, no one wishes it were more than my mother.) I am a product of all my combined experiences. And I have no problem showing you who I am.

So who are you? Take that and build your author platform, website, blog, whatever. (Yes, you should use social media. If no one can find you, you won’t have an audience. But don’t make it harder than it has to be.)

As for good writing – the shit people actually care about when reading a book – the solution is the same. We don’t give a rat’s sweet ass how anyone else does it. You write your way and I write mine. It’s the same principle as marketing. No one is just like you. Therefore, as Michael Xavier says, no one can tell the story like you. More about that here.

I understand how easy it is to get stuck thinking about how things should be. Of how we want to be perceived. The problem with trying to write like someone else – or build a persona like someone else – is it’s not sustainable. You can’t do it for long. And why would you want to anyway? You are not Stephen King. I am not Mark Twain. But that doesn’t mean we don’t have valuable messages to share.

So when you’re writing, ask yourself questions to keep you from trying to be someone else. Would my best friend walk away if I read this to him? Do I believe in what I am saying? Does this sound like me?

Because generic sucks.

If you think you’re not good enough, you’re hardly alone. It is true that someone will always be better. Someone will always be smarter. Someone will always be more eloquent. But they will never be YOU.

Fact: YOU are different from everyone else.

Fact: YOU have a story to tell that no one else can tell in the same way.

Fact: YOU can use both of those things to fulfill your writing dreams.

Want more? Subscribe to this site in the upper right hand corner and I’ll send you a free copy of my book, “A Writer’s Voice. What it is. Why it matters. And how to develop yours.”

• • •

If you need help polishing a work in progress, hammering out a novel or writing any other random thing at all, consider this: The world has too many people who say you can’t. I say you can and you will, and then I’ll show you how.