Tag Archive for: trauma

THE BRUTAL TRUTH ABOUT NERVOUS SYSTEM HEALING

Ever wondered why healing your f*cked-up nervous system feels like wandering through a minefield blindfolded? Yeah. Me too.

Let me rip the mask off this “gentle journey” bullshit and show you the blood-soaked reality of what’s actually happening.

THE TRIGGER LABYRINTH

Your dysregulated system isn’t just “sensitive” – it’s a goddamn chaos engine running on corrupted code.

External triggers, internal triggers, shit you don’t even recognize as triggers… They’re everywhere, invisible and lethal.

You try some healing practice that should work and your body locks up in freeze or floods with anxiety. You did everything “right” and still got knocked on your ass.

And women? Your hormonal cycles aren’t just “challenging,” they’re brutal resurrection rituals every month. Your bleeding depletes minerals and water, stripping away resources your nervous system desperately needs to hold itself together.

This isn’t weakness. It’s biological warfare against your own stability.

Clarity doesn’t come from trying harder. It comes from surrendering to the monster inside you that’s been keeping score all along.

YOUR RATIONAL MIND IS THE ENEMY

Your thinking brain believes it can logic its way through trauma. This is a f*cking lie. A big one.

Regulation isn’t a cognitive process. It’s primal, instinctual, buried in your brainstem and viscera. Your rational mind is the jailer, not the liberator. (Read that again.)

True healing happens when you stop “doing” regulation and start allowing the savage intelligence of your body to reclaim its power.

Your system doesn’t need more control. It needs permission to remember what it knew before the world broke you.

THE CRUEL NONLINEARITY

Healing isn’t a straight line. It’s a bloody spiral through darkness.

You’ll taste freedom, then get dragged back into the pit.

You’ll feel powerful, then collapse under the weight of old patterns.

This isn’t failure. It’s the brutal reality of transformation.

The momentum builds only when your system accumulates new resources: clarity carved from chaos, attunement born from ashes, somatic capacity forged in fire, and the refined perception that comes from staring into the void without flinching.

TIME IS NOT YOUR ENEMY

You want it fixed now. Yesterday. Ten years ago before it all went to hell.

Wake up. Your system spent decades building fortress walls and digging trenches. Why the f*ck would years of accumulated survival patterns dissolve overnight?

Healing takes time because your nervous system is rewriting its core operating system while still running all primary functions. It’s not being slow to spite you. It’s doing impossible work, without shutting down completely.

Patience isn’t weakness. It’s strategic violence against the systems that tried to break you.

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THE OVERWHELM IS THE POINT

That intensity crushing you? The symptoms flooding your awareness? The feeling of drowning in your own neurochemistry? This isn’t the system failing. It’s the system speaking its truth.

Healing means living in the brutal space between old patterns (triggers, symptoms, collapse) and new capacity (stability, awareness, power). This transition isn’t gentle. It’s a war zone where past and future battle for control of your present.

STOP SEEKING VALIDATION FROM THE BLIND

The people around you will never fully understand the depths of your experience. This isn’t their fault. They can only meet you as deeply as they’ve met themselves.

Stop looking for validation from those who haven’t descended into their own darkness. Their approval isn’t the prize. Your savage self-validation is.

MORE ANGER, MORE EXHAUSTION IS THE VICTORY

Shouldn’t healing mean less anger and more energy?

F*ck no.

As your system stabilizes, it gains the strength to feel what was too dangerous to feel before. Those waves of rage, grief and bone-deep exhaustion aren’t signs of failure. They’re buried truths finally strong enough to surface.

This isn’t regression. It’s resurrection.

HEALING ISN’T YOUR FULL-TIME JOB

The endless vigilance – tracking triggers, practicing regulation, monitoring patterns – will burn you to ash if you make it your entire existence.

Healing isn’t a 24/7 crusade. Sometimes the most powerful move is to stop trying so damn hard and let your system integrate on its own terms.

THE DARK TRUTH

Healing isn’t about getting it right. It’s about meeting the monster they tried to kill in you – again and again and again.

Even when it feels like you’re drowning in quicksand, your system is fighting for your life.

Every moment of raw attunement, every pause between the chaos, and every breath of fierce self-compassion is reshaping your neural landscape.

You’re not behind.

You’re not broken.

You’re a weapon being forged in fire.

And the heat is necessary.

Nice girls don’t heal

Nice is what’s killing you. Slowly. Quietly. Like a good girl should.

Nice is swallowing your rage until it turns to acid in your gut.

Nice is slow suicide in sensible shoes.

Nice is what makes you apologize while someone’s stabbing you in the back.

Nice is what has you tone policing your own screams.

Nice is what keeps you bringing casseroles to people who’d watch you drown.

Nice is letting people cross your boundaries because making waves isn’t polite.

Nice is trauma wearing a pretty dress and a fake smile.

Nice is a death sentence with a smile.

Nice is why you’re popping Xanax in the bathroom at work with another panic attack.

Nice is why you’re on your third autoimmune disorder, while your digestive system eats itself alive.

Nice is trauma wearing lipstick, and calling itself love.

And I’m done being nice.

Last week, a woman came to me shaking. Not crying. Not screaming. Shaking.

She’d spent so many years being nice, she forgot how to speak. Her voice was trapped under decades of “good girl” and “be kind” and “don’t make anyone uncomfortable.”

Know what happened when she finally broke? She remembered every single person who told her to be “nice” while they were destroying her. Every. Single. One.

Your shadow remembers too.

  • Every time you swallowed your rage and called it peace.
  • Every time you froze instead of fought.
  • Every time you made yourself smaller, smaller, smaller, until you almost disappeared.

That darkness you keep trying to heal? That’s not darkness. That’s your power breaking through nice’s prison walls

That anger you’re afraid of? It knows where the bodies are buried.

That bitch you keep caging? She knows how to save your life.

Nice girls end up as statistics. In hospitals with mystery illnesses.
In relationships that feel like slow murder.
In therapy groups wondering why being good didn’t protect them.

Our Shadow Integration Workshop is for women who are done dying politely. Done turning their trauma into an inspiring Facebook post. Done pretending their rage isn’t holy.

For two hours, we’re going to descend into your shadow and wake up every not-nice part of you that’s been keeping your truth company.

No spiritual bypassing. No toxic positivity. No more f*cking gold stars for making yourself digestible.

$97 gets you the live workshop and the recording. Because this work is as messy as the truth, and you’ll need to witness it more than once.

Go here to snag your seat.

P.S. They told you “nice” keeps you safe. But nice is what’s keeping you sick, scared, small. Nice is what’s keeping you in therapy trying to heal wounds that need rage, not reflection.

P.P.S. When nice girls snap, they don’t break. They remember. Every slight. Every betrayal. Every time they chose being liked over being alive. Feb. 26, we’re choosing life.

P.P.P.S. Your shadow isn’t dark magic. It’s every truth you buried trying to be nice. And it’s long past time to dig them all up.