Tag Archive for: success coach

WTF Metrics

The Numbers That Actually Matter in Your Coaching Business

Forget everything you think you know about measuring coaching success. While everyone else is obsessing over follower counts and revenue targets, the coaches who are actually changing lives and building sustainable businesses are tracking completely different numbers. These “WTF Metrics” – the weird, unexpected, and unconventional data points – reveal more about your coaching impact than any vanity metric ever will.

The “Fuck This” Frequency

What it measures: How many times clients say “fuck this” or similar before making a breakthrough.

This might sound counterintuitive, but the best coaches track their clients’ resistance patterns. Every transformation requires breaking through old patterns, and resistance shows up as frustration, anger or the classic “fuck this” moment.

Smart coaches know that three to five major resistance episodes typically precede significant breakthroughs.

Track this by noting when clients express strong negative emotions about the process, complain about homework or want to quit. The coaches who understand this pattern don’t panic when clients get pissed off – they celebrate it as a sign that real change is happening.

Why it matters: Traditional metrics miss the messy middle of transformation. This metric helps you normalize the process for clients and predict when breakthroughs are coming.

Silence Duration Index

What it measures: How long clients can sit in uncomfortable silence during sessions.

Most coaches think talking equals progress. Wrong. The magic happens in the spaces between words, when clients are processing, integrating, or finally facing something they’ve been avoiding. Track how long your clients can tolerate silence without jumping in to fill the space.

New clients might only handle 5-10 seconds. Clients who are doing deep work can sit in silence for 60+ seconds while they excavate truth. The longer the silence tolerance, the deeper the work is going.

Why it matters: This metric reveals emotional maturity, self-awareness and willingness to go deep – all predictors of lasting change.

The Ugly Cry Coefficient

What it measures: Frequency and intensity of emotional releases during sessions.

Track when clients have emotional breakthroughs, not just tears, but the full-body, makeup-destroying, snot-fest ugly cries that happen when someone finally feels safe enough to fall apart. These moments are gold.

Rate them on a scale:
Watery eyes (1)
Single tears (2)
Crying (3)
Sobbing (4)
Ugly cry breakthrough (5)

Clients who hit level 4-5 emotional releases consistently show faster and more lasting transformations.

Why it matters: Emotional release is often the gateway to breakthrough. Coaches who create space for ugly crying create space for healing.

Excuse Velocity Decline

What it measures: How quickly clients stop making excuses for their circumstances.

At the beginning, clients arrive with a full arsenal of reasons why they can’t change. Track how long it takes for excuse-making to decrease by 50%. Is it three sessions? Six? Twelve?

Create an “excuse inventory” early on. Catalog their greatest hits. Then track how these shift from, “I can’t because…” to “I could if…” to “I will by…”

This progression reveals readiness for change.

Why it matters: Excuse velocity directly correlates with results velocity. When excuses slow down, transformation speeds up.

The Uncomfortable Truth Ratio

What it measures: Percentage of session time spent discussing things clients don’t want to talk about.

Most coaching stays surface-level because coaches are afraid to make clients uncomfortable. Track what percentage of each session is spent on topics that make your client squirm. The sweet spot is 30-40% discomfort.

Too little discomfort means you’re enabling. Too much means you’re traumatizing. But that 30-40% zone is where growth lives.

Why it matters: Comfort is the enemy of growth. This metric ensures you’re pushing boundaries without breaking people.

Energy Archaeology Score

What it measures: How much energy clients reclaim from addressing old wounds, limiting beliefs or toxic patterns.

Before starting work, have clients rate their energy levels on a scale of 1-10. Then track monthly. But here’s the twist: also track “energy archaeology.” How much energy they recover by cleaning up their past.

Clients dealing with unresolved trauma, toxic relationships or limiting beliefs are leaking energy constantly. As they address these issues, they don’t just gain energy, they reclaim it.

The energy archaeology score measures this reclamation.

Why it matters: Energy is the foundation of everything else. A client who goes from 3/10 to 8/10 energy will automatically see improvements in every life area.

Boundary Establishment Velocity

What it measures: Speed at which clients start saying no to things that don’t serve them.

Track the first “no” – when clients first set a boundary they wouldn’t have set before coaching. Then measure how quickly they establish additional boundaries. This progression typically accelerates exponentially.

Month 1: Maybe one small boundary
Month 3: Setting boundaries weekly
Month 6: Boundaries become automatic

Why it matters: Boundary-setting ability predicts every other area of success. Clients who master boundaries master their lives.

The Authenticity Emergence Rate

What it measures: How quickly clients start showing up as themselves instead of who they think they should be.

This is subtle but powerful. Track moments when clients share authentic thoughts, make choices aligned with their values (not others’ expectations) or simply stop performing.

Look for phrases like “I actually think…”, “What I really want is…”, or “I don’t care what people think anymore.” These authentic moments usually cluster together once they start appearing.

Why it matters: Authenticity is the foundation of fulfillment. Clients who find their authentic voice create lives that actually fit them.

Implementation Despite Imperfection Index

What it measures: How often clients take action before they feel ready.

Perfectionist clients will plan forever without acting. Track how quickly clients move from “I need to figure this out first” to “I’ll figure it out as I go.”

Measure the time between getting an assignment and taking the first imperfect action.

High-performing clients take messy action quickly. Struggling clients research, plan and prepare indefinitely.

Why it matters: Done is better than perfect, and action creates clarity faster than thinking ever will.

The Real Talk Frequency

What it measures: How often clients bring up topics they’re genuinely struggling with versus topics they think they should be working on.

Many clients perform in coaching. They discuss what they think they should focus on, rather than what’s actually keeping them up at night. Track when conversations shift from “should” problems to “actual” problems.

Real talk sounds like: “Can I tell you what’s really going on?” or “I didn’t want to mention this but…” These moments indicate growing trust and self-awareness.

Why it matters: You can’t solve problems that aren’t being honestly discussed. Real talk frequency predicts breakthrough potential.

These WTF Metrics might seem unconventional, but they reveal the human truth behind transformation. While everyone else counts likes and dollars, you’ll be tracking the metrics that actually matter: the ones that show when someone is getting ready to completely change their life.

Start tracking just two or three of these in your next client sessions. You’ll be amazed at what the numbers reveal about the real work of coaching.

TRANSFORMING TRIGGERS

THE BLOODY TRUTH ABOUT MEETING YOUR DARKNESS

You feel it again. That familiar electric shock to your system.

Heart pounding. Mind racing. Body frozen or ready to fight.

Someone said something. Did something. And now you’re gone—hijacked by the past, dragged back into old wounds that never fully closed.

And you hate yourself for it.

“Why am I still like this? Why can’t I just get over it?”

Stop. Now.

Your triggers aren’t your weakness. They’re your war cry.

The places where your system screams the truth everyone else is too afraid to hear.

WHAT TRIGGERS REALLY ARE

Triggers aren’t problems to fix. They’re weapons waiting to be claimed.

When something in your present slams into an unhealed wound from your past, your body doesn’t politely suggest you might want to pay attention. It fucking detonates. It floods you with chemistry designed to keep you alive.

Your triggers’ intensity directly corresponds to how deeply you were wounded and how desperately your system needed to protect you. The worse the original trauma, the more violent the trigger.

You may recognize yourself here:

  • Your body becomes a war zone: heart racing, muscles locked, breath stolen

  • You fall into the same relationship hellscapes, over and over, wondering why you keep attracting the same monsters in different masks
  • Your emotions hijack you like a hostage situation, while you’re just a passenger watching yourself burn
  • You shut down completely, your consciousness fleeing the scene while your body stays behind
  • Ancient pain resurfaces like a corpse rising from dark water

How you face these triggers determines whether they keep you chained to your past or become the exact tools that carve your freedom.

WHY YOU STAY TRAPPED

Triggered is the opposite of choice. Of power. Of sovereignty. You remain triggered because your system hasn’t developed the capacity to do anything else.

Your body lacks the resources to process what lies beneath. AND THAT IS NOT YOUR FAULT.

Your nervous system has never experienced safety in a new response. It only knows the familiar patterns of chaos or collapse.

The fractured parts of you still haven’t received what they’re screaming for: Acknowledgment that what happened was real.

A TRUTH YOU WON’T HEAR ELSEWHERE

Changing patterns that are burned into your nervous system doesn’t happen in a weekend workshop or a positive affirmation away.

The reactions you can’t control have been reinforced for years—often to keep you alive. Of course this work feels impossible. Of course it takes time.

But you’re still here. Still fighting. Still showing up with your bloody knuckles and tear-stained face.

Healing isn’t about “doing the work” in some pristine meditation room. It’s about dragging yourself through life – working jobs, raising kids, maintaining relationships – while carrying the crushing weight of experiences that nearly destroyed you.

Before we go further, recognize this: You’re still standing.

After everything that tried to break you. After all the times you wanted to give up. You’re here. That’s not nothing. That’s fucking everything.

Now let’s tear apart the lies about triggering and reveal what actually works.

THE BRUTAL PATH THROUGH TRIGGERS

Transforming triggers means burning down everything you were taught about “getting better” and building something true from the ashes.

STAGE 1: CREATING FUCKING SPACE

Triggers feel like being possessed. Something else takes the wheel while you watch yourself spiral. The hardest truth about being triggered is that it feels like there is no choice. Your survival brain drives while your conscious mind sits helpless in the passenger seat.

Space is the first weapon you need. Not to “calm down” or “be positive,” but to create a crack in the automatic response where something new can emerge.

With space, you’re no longer completely devoured by the trigger. You can witness it rather than become it.

STAGE 2: MEETING YOUR DEMONS DIFFERENTLY

This is where most people fail. When triggered, we default to the same useless patterns that keep us locked in trauma cycles.

Probably like this shit:

Overthinking the fuck out of it…
“This means I’m permanently damaged.”
“This proves I’ll never change.”

Judging yourself mercilessly…
“This shouldn’t still happen.”
“I’m pathetic for feeling this way.”

Frantically trying to fix it…
“How do I make this stop now?”
“I need to figure this out immediately.”

Shaming yourself into oblivion…
“I’m so broken.”
“Everyone else has their shit together but me.”

Becoming the trigger…
“I am anxiety.”
“I am damaged goods.”
“I am unfixable.”

Every time you respond this way, you reinforce the trauma cycle, further locking the trigger deeper into your system.

What triggers actually need (read this multiple times):

  • Space to exist without your judgment or your desperate need to make them disappear
  • To be seen and acknowledged for what they are, not denied or prettied up
  • To be felt in the raw meat of your body, rather than dissected by your mind
  • To be understood as signals, not character flaws
  • To be met with regulation instead of more chaos

SMALL SHIFTS, LETHAL IMPACT

Healing doesn’t happen through force. It happens in the moments you show your system that something else is possible. These shifts aren’t Instagram-worthy. They’re unglamorous moments of raw courage. For example…

When triggered, giving the reaction three fucking seconds to exist without meaning-making, judging, analyzing, or trying to fix it. Just say “This is here” and let it breathe for a moment.

Getting curious about where the trigger lives in your body. If it’s too intense, step outside yourself and observe.

Moving your body when the weight threatens to crush you, instead of collapsing under it.

Reaching out when the isolation feels safer, instead of disappearing into yourself.

Saying “I don’t know” instead of pretending to have answers.

Choosing curiosity instead of condemnation: “Maybe this deserves to exist too.”

Acknowledging your needs, even when every instinct screams to abandon them.

These small rebellions begin to shift how you meet your triggers. And when you meet them differently, they transform from your prison to your power.

STAGE 3: CREATING NEW NEURAL PATHWAYS

Triggers don’t just need management. They need to be countered with experiences that show your body it’s capable of feeling something besides terror and pain.

If you only connect with your body when it’s screaming, you reinforce the idea that your body is just a vessel for suffering. To change this, you must engage with your body outside of crisis, building moments of connection that weren’t possible during trauma.

This isn’t about healing only when you’re falling apart. It’s about long-term revolution, allowing your system to discover that there’s more to existence than just surviving the next trigger.

Ways to forge new neural pathways:

  • Engage with your body in ways that feel alive, not just when you’re drowning in trauma.
  • Explore sensations beyond pain. Seek warmth, pleasure, strength, stillness, power.
  • Learn to experience your body as a weapon rather than just a wound.
  • Attune to your nervous system’s needs, not just when it’s in chaos, but as an ongoing relationship.
  • Notice moments of agency, power, or expansion and let yourself fully claim them.

When we only pay attention to ourselves in agony, we unconsciously reinforce the belief that we’re only worthy of care when we’re broken.

Healing includes giving ourselves attention in moments of strength, clarity, and growth, not just in moments when we’re bleeding out.

STAGE 4: HOLDING BOTH THE MONSTER AND THE MASTER

Unlearning the patterns burned into your nervous system takes time. This means allowing both the old and new to exist simultaneously.

The instinct to analyze and judge → alongside the new possibility of raw curiosity.

The reflex to react immediately → alongside the new experience of standing your ground.

The desperation to “fix” yourself → alongside the understanding that no immediate action is needed.

The pull toward self-contempt → alongside the unfamiliar practice of self-protection.

The automatic shutdown → alongside the courage to stay present for one more breath.

The belief that triggers mean you’re broken → alongside the truth that they are signals, not sentences.

At first, these new choices will feel like speaking a foreign language. But with repetition and brutal honesty, they will carve new pathways. And eventually, they’ll feel like coming home to yourself.

STAGE 5: FACING THE ROOT

Behind every trigger hides a deeper wound, a betrayal, or a survival adaptation. Understanding what’s being remembered or reenacted breaks the spell of reactivity.

Triggers aren’t random—they’re messengers pointing to:

  • Emotional wounds still bleeding beneath your conscious awareness
  • Nervous system patterns still locked in danger mode
  • Distortions in how you perceive safety, worth, or connection
  • Old trauma responses still running the show

The goal isn’t to manage the trigger—but to hunt down what lies beneath it.

The more you integrate the root, the less power the trigger holds over you.

THE BLOODY TRUTH

This process isn’t about becoming “healed” or “fixed.” It’s about becoming sovereign, reclaiming authority over your own experience.

Each small shift is an act of rebellion against everything that tried to break you. You are rewiring old patterns with presence, rage, and determination.

Your triggers aren’t proof you’re broken. They’re proof you survived something that should have killed you. And now they’re waiting to become the very weapons that will set you free.

Take them back. Make them yours. Turn what was meant to destroy you into what makes you unstoppable.