Tag Archive for: shadow work

Nice girls don’t heal

Nice is what’s killing you. Slowly. Quietly. Like a good girl should.

Nice is swallowing your rage until it turns to acid in your gut.

Nice is slow suicide in sensible shoes.

Nice is what makes you apologize while someone’s stabbing you in the back.

Nice is what has you tone policing your own screams.

Nice is what keeps you bringing casseroles to people who’d watch you drown.

Nice is letting people cross your boundaries because making waves isn’t polite.

Nice is trauma wearing a pretty dress and a fake smile.

Nice is a death sentence with a smile.

Nice is why you’re popping Xanax in the bathroom at work with another panic attack.

Nice is why you’re on your third autoimmune disorder, while your digestive system eats itself alive.

Nice is trauma wearing lipstick, and calling itself love.

And I’m done being nice.

Last week, a woman came to me shaking. Not crying. Not screaming. Shaking.

She’d spent so many years being nice, she forgot how to speak. Her voice was trapped under decades of “good girl” and “be kind” and “don’t make anyone uncomfortable.”

Know what happened when she finally broke? She remembered every single person who told her to be “nice” while they were destroying her. Every. Single. One.

Your shadow remembers too.

  • Every time you swallowed your rage and called it peace.
  • Every time you froze instead of fought.
  • Every time you made yourself smaller, smaller, smaller, until you almost disappeared.

That darkness you keep trying to heal? That’s not darkness. That’s your power breaking through nice’s prison walls

That anger you’re afraid of? It knows where the bodies are buried.

That bitch you keep caging? She knows how to save your life.

Nice girls end up as statistics. In hospitals with mystery illnesses.
In relationships that feel like slow murder.
In therapy groups wondering why being good didn’t protect them.

Our Shadow Integration Workshop is for women who are done dying politely. Done turning their trauma into an inspiring Facebook post. Done pretending their rage isn’t holy.

For two hours, we’re going to descend into your shadow and wake up every not-nice part of you that’s been keeping your truth company.

No spiritual bypassing. No toxic positivity. No more f*cking gold stars for making yourself digestible.

$97 gets you the live workshop and the recording. Because this work is as messy as the truth, and you’ll need to witness it more than once.

Go here to snag your seat.

P.S. They told you “nice” keeps you safe. But nice is what’s keeping you sick, scared, small. Nice is what’s keeping you in therapy trying to heal wounds that need rage, not reflection.

P.P.S. When nice girls snap, they don’t break. They remember. Every slight. Every betrayal. Every time they chose being liked over being alive. Feb. 26, we’re choosing life.

P.P.P.S. Your shadow isn’t dark magic. It’s every truth you buried trying to be nice. And it’s long past time to dig them all up.

Face it. Feel it. Let it the F* go.

Excuse me. *taps glass*

I think it’s time for a chat about spiritual bypassing.

This is coming up more and more in our industry and, frankly, it’s f*cking horrible.

For those not acquainted, spiritual bypassing prevents people from acknowledging what they feel and distances them from both themselves and others.

An example might be avoiding feeling angry, or overemphasizing the positive AND avoiding the negative.

I also see it where people are super detached, overly idealistic, feel entitled or simply aren’t focusing on the here and now.

It’s similar to emotional bypassing in that we don’t allow ourselves to fully process our negative feelings. Which breeds a toxic cesspool inside of us and creates more problems as we try to expand and grow.

You can NEVER get better by ignoring what’s bothering you.

Granted, we may not be aware that we’ve closed our hearts or we’re avoiding a particularly heavy feeling. In an effort to protect ourselves from trauma, we shut down, avoid, withdraw, dissociate — and sometimes convince ourselves that we have to just “STAY POSITIVE.”

I have no judgment about any of it.

HOWEVER, if you’re working with a coach who encourages this, it’s a big, fat, hairy problem.

I don’t care who you are, you’re human.

As long as you’re inside this bag of flesh and bones, you will have feelings. All kinds of them. And you may not like them very much.

But the process of true growth means FEELING THEM TO RELEASE THEM. There is no way to skip this step. None. And anyone who says otherwise is straight out lying to you.

Growth never means pretending emotions don’t exist. We’re never just “fine.” We have real shit to face and it’s your job to do just that.

In fact, stuffing emotion long-term has been proven time and again to cause physical illness, like cancers and autoimmune diseases, as well as mental illness.

We are NOT built to avoid what is uncomfortable. We are built to deal with it head on so we can then go further, faster, with a lighter load.

Face it. Feel it. Let it the f*ck go.

But it begins by acknowledging you are not a robot and you have things to release.

Please take the time to honor your body and mind and do this work.

Some refer to this as shadow work. I don’t care what you call it. Just deal with your feelings so you can excel in the areas you want.

If you feel held back, there’s a 99.9% chance it’s because of what I talked about here.

I made my first 6 figures in 2008, after 3 months of intense personal work on trauma.

I made my first 7 figures in 2012, after 6 months of transformational coaching that involved facing my deepest fears, loving my limits and choosing compassion for ALL OF ME.

I had my first multiple 7-figure year in 2015, after the deepest, scariest healing journey of my life. I called it the year of my soul retrieval.

Never once did I pretend life was fine.

Never once did I pretend I had it all together.

Never once did I avoid difficult emotions.

What you suppress festers.

One of the main reasons I now have a reputation for top-notch mindset and business coaching is because of my own journey.

I know what it’s like to be scared but have a dream.

I know what it’s like to desperately want to overcome fear and rise to the occasion.

And I know what it’s like to not have a clue where to begin.

If that’s you, it starts by emailing me at becky(at)rebeccatdickson(dot)com.

Your light comes from your shadow.

We need the darkness to see the contrast.

P.S. Tick-Tock. Right now, there’s a kickass bundle sale going on with my top 3 bestselling courses on mindset and business-building for women. Go here to check it out.

But don’t wait. The deal is gone in days…on 8/3/22 Midnight ET.

Want to WORK WITH ME? Get in touch. Let’s see what type of magic we can make.