Want to make money? Be yourself.

Once upon a time I was a relationship coach. I helped women who were in toxic relationships get their shit together and discover why their patterns kept repeating.

I was pretty damn good at it. My clients were much stronger, had more confidence and were more liberated after working with me. I forged this path for nearly a year, then I started to feel like something was off. I wasn’t making money, wasn’t attracting the right type of clients, and frankly, my business became stressful.

I loved working with women, helping them claim their power, own their strengths and go after what they wanted. But I was sick of hearing about relationship drama. I was bored with writing about what a healthy relationship was. I was tired of people referring to me as a relationship coach and asking where they could find other singles.

The truth is it was never about the relationships, it was about them- their confidence, their self-esteem and their beliefs in themselves. Relationships were the avenue I chose because it’s how I thought I could get clients. Sure, heartbroken women reached out to me, but as far as paying clients – they were far and few between.

I wasn’t making money in my coaching practice and I couldn’t figure out why. I was doing all the right things: newsletters, sales funnels, social media and more. But something wasn’t translating.

After eight months of struggling with my biz, buying all kinds of e-courses and programs, I decided to hire a coach. I thought maybe having someone in my corner would help me get clarity. I was right. My business has drastically changed and I’m no longer hiding my business, what I do and how I do it. I’m no longer nervous to put myself “out there”, or to talk about what I do on my (personal) Facebook wall. Now I’m doing what I love, and guess what came along with that?

More happiness. More opportunities. More clients. And more money.

I learned a lot along the way. Investing in myself and a coach was one of lessons, but there are other lessons to remember as your forge your entrepreneurial path.

Business is constant evolution. Things will constantly change and expand. Go with it. Whether it’s your business branding, your ICA, your website or your services – be open to changes. Chances are they will be good for business. Test what works and what doesn’t. If something isn’t making you money, chuck it and come up with something better.

Just because you’re good at something doesn’t mean you should do it. For example, ahem, relationship coaching. Yes, I was damn good at coaching broken hearts to clarity, but I didn’t enjoy it much. You might be good at social media or strategizing, but if it doesn’t light you up (and you’re not turning a profit), it’s a-okay to start something new. Likewise, if you are doing tasks in your business that make you pull your hair out, quit them, and fast. Hire someone to do it for you. The benefits will outweigh the costs.

Be your own compass. Listen to your gut, your heart and those little voices in your head. Tap into your intuition and trust it. If you start to feel like something is off and isn’t working for you anymore, listen. If the type of clients you originally wanted to work with drain you or don’t see the value in investing in themselves, find new people.

Turn off the noise. Groups, sponsored posts, webinars, the next shiny object – turn it all off. Figure out what you want first, then seek someone to help you get there. Groups are perfect for tips and tricks and promotions, but I’m always floored by the amount of people I see asking generalized business advice there. These groups often become excuses as to why you haven’t reached the next level in your biz. So much is going on and there are so many opinions, you need to be mindful of who you allow to influence your business decisions. You only need two things: a good teacher and an awesome support system.

Get your personal life right. Another reason things felt off in my business was because it didn’t align with who I was. You can’t hide behind the mask of your business forever. Start showing up. You have to own what you do and stop living a double life. You are you, and your business is an extension of you. If it’s not aligned, you will always be searching for something more.

Guest post written by Jenn Scalia. 

Jenn Scalia coaches smart, successful women on how to get clear on what they want (as opposed to everyone else). Her clients have suffered from self-doubt, have trouble setting – and keeping – boundaries and don’t know how to love themselves more. She helps them transform all that and ultimately change their lives.

To learn more about Jenn and her coaching programs and courses, visit www.JennScalia.com.

Pictures of Success in 1,000 Words or Less

This month’s installment of a column brought to you by . . . YOU.

This is where we give up control of what’s said and hand it over to the people who matter most: our clients. Your words appear in this space, once a month.

Why?

Oodles of ah-ha moments.

Some of the writers who appear here didn’t have a clue where to start and subsequently transformed into writing machines. Some started right where you sit today, confused and needing guidance or maybe a little inspiration. And some were seasoned authors who needed a boost.

ALL of them figured it out and wrote epic shit.

This week, meet Cab.

***

January, 2010. Sacramento, California.

 

I want to be a writer, need to be a writer. I start a blog and name it Wordletting. I bleed on it as I wander through turbulent changes in my life. The words are slow and draw out like molasses. Clunky and ambling, they are true nonetheless. It is the beginning of my journey.

 

July, 2010. The Internets.

 

I find her as Thinking Too Hard. All I have are her anonymous words. They are raw and full of heart. Her flaws and wounds exposed in ways that often read like a mirror. Sometimes they shoot me square in the chest. Who is this remarkable woman? I have to know.

 

July 12, 2010. A virtual meeting.

 

I reach out with an email and receive a warm welcome. It turns out we have a lot in common, except we live nearly as far from each other as possible while both still living in America. At least our words travel the distance with ease. A friendship begins but I’m not quite satisfied…

 

September, 2010. In the sticks, New Hampshire.

 

I’m on her doorstep. Her son answers the door. She serves me strong coffee in her old and rustic cape kitchen. There are Shepherds in the back yard, and books lining the walls inside. We talk on the front porch as she smokes. It’s a whimsical and brief meeting but I’m glad for it.

 

2011. Somewhere in my head.

 

My words sputter-wander. I float. She checks in, prods…Are you writing? Yes, sometimes. I have an editing spot for you, she offers. I take it, glad to feel wanted. I write a little and think about a book. She advises. She advocates while I doubt. Mom dies and I drift out with the tide.

 

2012. Lost in loss.

 

Words are rare here. My sense of direction fails. I give up on almost everything and yield to resistance and distraction. Life carries on, but at the expense of growth and fulfillment.

 

September, 2013. She gives, again.

 

We haven’t had much contact but still she tries. She sees something in me I don’t, offers opportunity I deny myself. She holds the door open, leads me to water. She drafts me into her mastermind. Are you writing? Yes, but it’s hard. She pokes. Just write, she says. Just write.

 

July, 2014. All I have are words.

 

Sometimes it’s the persistent faith that others have in us that move us forward. Like a benevolent Poe’s raven, she keeps tapping, poking, prodding. Pushing. Her dogged call of Writesomemore never lets me completely lose momentum. She never lets my flame die out.

 

Now that I’ve left my dead-end career of the past 23 years, all I have are words. I’m writing a book. I’m a writer. Becky is my proof than one person can make a difference. She’s a giver. Once she told me, I’ll toss you over my shoulder if I have to. She wasn’t joking.

***

Come back next month for another edition of “Pictures of Success in 1,000 Words or Less. Cab can be found here.