Stuck? Read on.

Getting shit done is a mental game. And if you don’t pay attention, your mind will try to run the show.

In more than a decade working with women all over the world, I’ve noticed some themes. Here are the big players when it comes to self-sabotage…

Procrastination

It doesn’t matter how long you’ve wanted to do something, other obligations get in the way. It’s a cycle, and we often feel selfish dedicating time to something when we can’t see the payoff. But if you want your dream to turn into your reality, you must stop procrastinating. Yes, you have a family, a job or school.

You have appointments and real-life responsibilities (don’t even get me started on chores). The problem is, putting everything else first forces your dream to come last. When this happens, you’re not even giving yourself the opportunity to succeed.

Set aside time every day, whether it be fifteen minutes or an hour, to work toward your goal. By doing this, you’re committing to yourself and to your future. And you’re breaking the bad habit that keeps you from moving into the life you’ve always dreamed of.

Perfectionism

If you’re not working toward your dream, how can you even worry about perfection? What’s more important: starting out and making mistakes or waiting for the perfect moment or blog post or opportunity? When you wait on perfection, whatever that means to you, you’re insuring that nothing happens.

“My first chapter has to be spotless before I can move on.”

“I want to unveil this program, but I have to focus on every detail before I send it out to potential clients.”

Perfection is a dream killer. It’s an unattainable want. I tell writers and business-people this on the daily. Putting wants before needs kills progress. You need to start somewhere, and you need to understand perfection isn’t a place.

Putting one foot in front of the other and making mistakes is part of the journey. It builds resilience and makes you better at whatever the fuck you’re doing. There is always time to go back and revise and refocus, but you can’t begin to do that until you’ve made the first move. Stop procrastinating and start doing. You’ll thank me later.

Paralysis (via analysis)

A subcategory of perfection, people who are paralyzed begin questioning every move they make and cannot complete their goal because they’re hyper focused on smaller details.

“What if I tried X this way?”

“I wonder if I can change Y to get a better fit.”

Looking at one piece of the entire work doesn’t show you the big picture. You could have amazing copy for the home page of your website, but if the rest looks like shit you’re not fooling anyone. It’s the whole thing, the big picture you need in order for people to buy into your brand.

The people who are getting where you want to be, know that one tiny detail doesn’t have to be perfect before they move on. They focus on the main points, doing their best to keep moving, and then they go back and change what they don’t like, outline your entire project, then go back and revise whatever feels like it doesn’t fit.

Paranoia

Paranoia is the annoying-as-shit voice inside our heads, murdering our self-esteem: self-doubt. Ick.
We all have it, no matter what our project is:

“I’m a fraud.”

“Who am I to do X?”

“There is surely someone more qualified (or cheaper or more successful or better suited) to complete the same things.”

Listen, it’s normal to question our own performance. Actually, it’s healthy. As someone who wants to continue working toward being the best damn person you can be, it’s totally fine to evaluate your performance. It only becomes a problem when we allow our introspection to throw us backwards into one of the other dream-killers we talked about earlier.

That’s when it becomes paranoia.

If you’re doing any of the first three, you’re definitely doing it because you’re too damn hard on yourself. Give yourself the opportunity to run and fall. And then pick your fine ass back up and keep on keepin’ on. There is NOBODY who can do what you do exactly the same way. Because there is no other you alive.

And, if you feel like you need a little help, an ego boost to get moving, there is nothing wrong with hiring a coach. Maybe even one who loves German Shepherds and has two thumbs pointing back at her beautiful, sassy face. If you need help and don’t know where to start, email me (or give them some other call to action, Beckster).

All of this writing makes me tired, and reading it is another excuse for you. Get back on track, people.

It’s time to make shit happen.

Goals don’t matter

In the beginning of 2017, I had big goals. I was going to achieve those goals, be very happy and be a huge success.

ZERO of the goals took place.

And I’m the happiest I’ve ever been.

***

I wanted to be an author when I was young.

In my 20s, I compromised by being a killer journalist. In my 30s, I wrote a book about how to write, and a novella. I blogged 1,000 words or more every day. I wrote other people’s copy.

I was proud of my writing. I put in my 10,000 hours (probably more like 10,000 hours). I sold many books and hundreds of thousands of people had read me in one form or other.

So…2017 goal: books. Plural.

“I’m going to write a bestseller this year.”

Yet I didn’t write it.

I didn’t even start it.

***

I wanted to create a podcast.

I reached out to successful entrepreneurs with the techniques to do such things, spoke with the right support staff who would keep it humming along.

And did nothing with all that information.

I failed again.

***

One-year plans don’t work.

Plans don’t work.

Because goals don’t work.

***

I thought I would continue coaching women in business on how to amp up the money-making.

I thought I would expand into more systems and techniques.

I thought I would curate an empire.

But by the end of 2017, I didn’t want any of that.

And it was probably the best year yet.

The key to my happiness? No goals.

***

Somewhere between June and November 2017, life came into sharp focus.

Goals felt hard. They felt like push and hustle and strive and do, do, do, more and more and more. And I was damn tired.

But belief in myself, my essence – trusting my inner calling and purpose – no matter where it wanted to lead, became something I couldn’t NOT do. Goals be damned.

Turns out faith in self is magic. Life is amazing.

***

I shifted overnight from strategy and sales and money, to purpose and passion and self-belief.

I mentored women who had burning desires a full 180 degrees from where they were, but who felt that same undeniable call I felt.

I came up with new writing ideas by going inside and trusting myself. And the book is almost done.

For 2018, I didn’t craft any goals. But I continued to trust and nurture myself. (The hustle will kill you.)

Here are my non-negotiables:

A) Be healthy. Eat well, sleep well, move well. Taking care of your body allows you to physically pursue your passion and purpose, sans the bullshit hustle and grind. It feels amazing, allowing you to release more and inspire more.

B) Invest in relationships. Say no to people and relationships that feel gross. Only invest time and love into people who value me as much as I value them.

Do the people in your life give you energy or drain it?

I only spend time with the people who give me energy, and I am ruthless about it.

C) Be creative.

Am I creative every day?

I write every day. I contribute to my YouTube channel. I invented 60 Seconds to Success.

I love writing more than anything. But my process now is simply to be creative, to exercise that muscle, reconnect with my purpose and unleash what needs to come out.

And part of creativity is learning every day. Being curious every day. Being unafraid every day.

D) Remember my spirituality.

This happened at the end of 2017.

After 10 years of Catholic school, which required daily Mass and college courses on religion, I moved straight to looking down on prayer. Avoiding conversations about God, systematized religion, condemnation and the like.

I didn’t become enamored with meditation either. Which many Westerners do. Instead, I hung out in nothingness and connected with the Universe.

It evolved into a spiritual practice. Call it Universe, God, Buddha, whatever. The label is irrelevant. The connection is what matters.

When I go inward, I get back to me and my purpose, which ultimately is a tiny sliver of whatever you believe created us. It means surrendering to whatever force is up there, more powerful than us, and trusting.

It helps me disconnect from my ego’s need to hustle and push and power through. Then I remember why I am here. Which always feels a whole lot better than going after more money, more fame, more bullshit.

***

On January 1, 2017, I had no idea what I would learn on January 2 or January 3 or January 4…

But if I learn every day, my goals constantly change. Because I know and understand more than the day before.

And goals SHOULD change with more knowledge.

So here’s my daily non-goal: physical, mental, emotional and spiritual wellness.

Goals based on what my ego wants actually block me from those four things. They also prevent me from tapping back into my purpose.

Goals assume I know more than the Universe. Which is asinine.

And that’s why trust and surrender get me further, faster, than any amount of hustling.

***

Here’s what my days looks like now…

Go with it.

Keep my energy and creativity and relationships as positive as possible.

Release what needs to come out.

Trust.

Will that make me a shitload of money, success, love and joy?

Maybe.

Maybe not.

But I love how it feels.

P.S. Your life’s work is something you are made of. You came here with it. If you want off the treadmill too, we should talk.

Your only job on this planet is to remove every block and limit you may have that interferes with who you are, so you are free to fulfill your purpose.

I am passionate about what I do because I know how easy this is, and how hard we make it when we don’t have the tools to catch it and shift.

Right now, I am offering two ways to work with me:

  1.  Virtual Retreat, limited to three women, on July 18-19 – all you need is an internet connection
  2.  In-Person Retreat at my home in New Hampshire, on Sept. 1-2, limited to three women (only two slots left).

Are you ready for expert guidance from someone who has been there and can help you walk the path? Do you want to stop the spinning thoughts, feeling as though your dream is too big, you don’t know how?

Apply for either event here.

Here’s your invitation to change everything.