Tag Archive for: law of attraction

An invitation to succeed

And why do you need an invitation to do something that’s your birthright?

Because many of you seem to have forgotten you can have it all.

You’re spending far too much time worried about others in your industry and not nearly enough improving yourselves and your business.

A bold statement, yes?

Here’s how I know:

On any given day, I receive emails and phone calls with words strung together that go something like this:

[insert name] said not to work with you. She said people are talking about how your clients don’t get results.

[insert name] asked why I would want to work with you instead of her. She said it was a big mistake.

[insert name] keeps asking me about our game plan for my business. She said she has better ideas than you.

Let’s put aside for a moment that most of these “[insert name]”s are women from my own community – women whose very careers I helped launch.

Let’s also put aside that the remainder of the “[insert name]”s are women I’ve never spoken to and, often, never even heard of.

I’ll get right to the point.

I launched this business and my collective Facebook communities (now in excess of 12,000) to create an army of women who have each others’ backs.

The goal was, is and always will be to have positive and supportive spaces for women all the time – and I’m hyper-vigilant about keeping them that way.

I don’t believe in competition. I never have. Five billion people are on the internet. If you can’t find a client who resonates with your message – without trashing another coach – then the problem is you.

The fact remains women entrepreneurs who struggle to get traction in their online businesses come to me to fix that. They come to my Facebook groups to be surrounded by like-minded women who will help them. They want to know they aren’t alone and that it’s safe to talk about their struggles.

So if you’re in my groups or on my email list and you don’t have anything nice to say…

…kindly get the fuck out. Now.

Don’t flood my inbox with bullshit.

I don’t care about gossip, hearsay or any negativity really.

And neither should you.

This represents a much more troubling and over-arching theme among women – one I will continue to tackle head-on as long as I live.

I mean, it’s a sad state when women who came together to support one another start tearing each other down. I could wax philosophical all day about patriarchy and how society sets us up to fail by making sure women do this very thing. But I’m guessing you’ve heard it all before and just forgot.

I could lecture on the concept of “divide and conquer,” but again I’m sure you’ve heard about that as well.

And given that you already know society expects women to eviscerate one another, why not take a step back and ask why you continue to participate.

What’s so scary about a woman’s success that makes you come out with claws extended?

Do you not understand that every woman’s success before yours blazes a fucking trail to make it easier for all women?

Don’t you get that by trashing your colleagues, you make yourself look petty and small?

Why are you helping society perpetuate the myth that women cannot lead because they’re too busy comparing, fighting and trying to out-do one another?

Allow that to sink in. Really. Absorb it.

Every second you spend on that is time taken away from bettering yourself.

When you process that and see it as true, your business will grow, your mindset will improve, you will have more clients and make more money.

And you’re better than trash talk, aren’t you?

This is an extraordinary time to be a women entrepreneur. Look up the statistics. See whose ahead of the game in online business. (It’s not men.)

Give yourself permission to be yourself. Dissolve the fear that makes you attack other women. Delete the programming that leads you to believe someone else’s success means your failure.

You are me and I am you.

When you understand that, you will succeed.

Want to make money? Be yourself.

Once upon a time I was a relationship coach. I helped women who were in toxic relationships get their shit together and discover why their patterns kept repeating.

I was pretty damn good at it. My clients were much stronger, had more confidence and were more liberated after working with me. I forged this path for nearly a year, then I started to feel like something was off. I wasn’t making money, wasn’t attracting the right type of clients, and frankly, my business became stressful.

I loved working with women, helping them claim their power, own their strengths and go after what they wanted. But I was sick of hearing about relationship drama. I was bored with writing about what a healthy relationship was. I was tired of people referring to me as a relationship coach and asking where they could find other singles.

The truth is it was never about the relationships, it was about them- their confidence, their self-esteem and their beliefs in themselves. Relationships were the avenue I chose because it’s how I thought I could get clients. Sure, heartbroken women reached out to me, but as far as paying clients – they were far and few between.

I wasn’t making money in my coaching practice and I couldn’t figure out why. I was doing all the right things: newsletters, sales funnels, social media and more. But something wasn’t translating.

After eight months of struggling with my biz, buying all kinds of e-courses and programs, I decided to hire a coach. I thought maybe having someone in my corner would help me get clarity. I was right. My business has drastically changed and I’m no longer hiding my business, what I do and how I do it. I’m no longer nervous to put myself “out there”, or to talk about what I do on my (personal) Facebook wall. Now I’m doing what I love, and guess what came along with that?

More happiness. More opportunities. More clients. And more money.

I learned a lot along the way. Investing in myself and a coach was one of lessons, but there are other lessons to remember as your forge your entrepreneurial path.

Business is constant evolution. Things will constantly change and expand. Go with it. Whether it’s your business branding, your ICA, your website or your services – be open to changes. Chances are they will be good for business. Test what works and what doesn’t. If something isn’t making you money, chuck it and come up with something better.

Just because you’re good at something doesn’t mean you should do it. For example, ahem, relationship coaching. Yes, I was damn good at coaching broken hearts to clarity, but I didn’t enjoy it much. You might be good at social media or strategizing, but if it doesn’t light you up (and you’re not turning a profit), it’s a-okay to start something new. Likewise, if you are doing tasks in your business that make you pull your hair out, quit them, and fast. Hire someone to do it for you. The benefits will outweigh the costs.

Be your own compass. Listen to your gut, your heart and those little voices in your head. Tap into your intuition and trust it. If you start to feel like something is off and isn’t working for you anymore, listen. If the type of clients you originally wanted to work with drain you or don’t see the value in investing in themselves, find new people.

Turn off the noise. Groups, sponsored posts, webinars, the next shiny object – turn it all off. Figure out what you want first, then seek someone to help you get there. Groups are perfect for tips and tricks and promotions, but I’m always floored by the amount of people I see asking generalized business advice there. These groups often become excuses as to why you haven’t reached the next level in your biz. So much is going on and there are so many opinions, you need to be mindful of who you allow to influence your business decisions. You only need two things: a good teacher and an awesome support system.

Get your personal life right. Another reason things felt off in my business was because it didn’t align with who I was. You can’t hide behind the mask of your business forever. Start showing up. You have to own what you do and stop living a double life. You are you, and your business is an extension of you. If it’s not aligned, you will always be searching for something more.

Guest post written by Jenn Scalia

Jenn Scalia coaches smart, successful women on how to get clear on what they want (as opposed to everyone else). Her clients have suffered from self-doubt, have trouble setting – and keeping – boundaries and don’t know how to love themselves more. She helps them transform all that and ultimately change their lives.

To learn more about Jenn and her coaching programs and courses, visit www.JennScalia.com.